Joe Nocera hits the nail on the head.
On Apple's tax avoidance, it's the best piece I've read.
Wrath over unethical business practice soon out peters
When even our hero companies prove to be cheaters.
Tim Cook with Stengelese while wearing a suit
Made point after point quite easy to refute.
Yet after Levin's initial tirade no Senator really tried
Which itself justified why the Apple leader had lied.
The logic of low corporate tax rates so capital will in flow
Makes less and less sense when the economy goes slow.
Why should multinationals build up mountains made of cash?
Doesn't that in itself tend to make economies crash?
This practice of business has gotten completely out of hand
The purported social benefit really hard to understand.
So if corporate titans have the rest of us end gamed
Is it too much to ask while in public they look ashamed?
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Tricking Thanatos or kidding ourselves
What a pleasure it is to wake up from a deep dream. Life seems so full of possibility afterward.
Earlier in the week it felt anything but. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. Then I tend to fixate. Someone had posted to a listserv I follow occasionally with a recommendation for people to take risks in their work lives. I wanted to respond that unless you're Jason Bourne or Jack Bauer you don't want to drive on the wrong side of the road. I normally have the urge to post thoughts, but I suppressed it this time out of fear of regretting it later. Evidently, there are some risks you don't want to take.
Another object of fixation was on the question of whether someone close to the deceased should control themselves at the funeral and bottle up any emotions they have. The first funeral I attended was in 1971 after my Uncle Dan passed away from Leukemia My father and he were partners in a law firm. My dad did break down at the funeral. My Aunt Gertrude got quite angry at this. She was a cold fish. We never liked her very much. I broke down at each of my parent's funerals when I was to say a few words to those in attendance. With my dad I didn't anticipate it. Though I'm entirely areligious, with my mom I wanted a Rabbi at the funeral, armed with the memory of the prior experience. It was the right call.
Earlier this week there had been the funeral of Marianne Ferber, a former colleague in the Economics Department and a near contemporary of my mom. All the relatives who spoke were quite gracious in their remarks, and there was an especially humorous letter read from Bob Ferber to Marianne, his wife, written in 1980, a tongue in cheek pose as a member of the Moral Majority, urging passage of the ERA immediately, before women take over entirely and after which men will have nowhere to turn. For me what was most noteworthy at the service is that each of these presenters maintained full composure. I wonder if that is the norm at funerals in spite of strong feelings about the deceased.
Then there have been so many disparate things in the news recently either about life shortening or life prolonging activity. Among these are the rapid increase in the suicide rate since 2000, particularly among people who are approximately my age, and it's relationship to the economic downturn and austerity in fiscal policy. Add to that the Angelina Jolie thing and the Chris Christie thing. And a high school classmate pointed out that quite recently Vermont has passed Aid In Dying Legislation.
I wanted to provide a framework with which to be able to consider all these experiences in one fell swoop, in order to render some opinion on them. It's hubris, no doubt, but I felt uniquely positioned to do that. I have been in the avelut phase of mourning since the end of December, so I have been grappling with related issues for quite some time. Further, I have the inclination to come up with framing questions and from that perform an analysis that has eluded others and offers them some insight. Alas, while I did have a couple of framing questions I failed to do anything with them. These experiences ultimately seemed too disparate to put under one umbrella.
But I think the framing questions useful in themselves so I will pose them here. First, whose decision is this to make, only the individual and the immediate family, or is there a significant social interest as well? The piece I linked to about austerity and its connection to suicide certainly makes it seem like there is a social interest in that case. What about in the other cases? Second, do we make good decisions or are we apt to make serious mistakes? Here I have in mind Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow, where he argues we have a tendency to come to quick decisions based on our intuition and not go through the mindful and more deliberate process of fully working our way to the conclusion. We are frequently guilty of WYSIATI (What you see is all there is). In Angelina Jolie's case, the memory of the early passing of her mother at age 56 quite possibly trumping other information in coming to the conclusion she did. And we are particularly poor in reasoning through information where randomness is an important part of what we observe, attributing too much causality the normal mistake we make.
Further, the statistical information available in the health arena should often be taken as highly contingent, and the best opinion based on that information might be overturned when new data are available. For example, on the same day as the Angelina Jolie Op-Ed, there was this Editorial about Salt, the benefits of consuming it in contrast to the "conventional wisdom" to restrict its consumption lest it lead to a heart attack. My brother, who is an MD and a PhD, used to joke that in the even numbered years consuming eggs was good for you and in the odd numbers years it was not, presumably a knock on clinical research. I'm afraid that even well train physicians can be guilty of WYSIATI and that short of having a PhD in Statistics and perhaps not even then, the issue of what the data show and what to do as a consequence is quite challenging, perhaps too challenging for the vast majority of us.
With those caveats out of the way, let me discuss each of the pieces individually and my connections to them. I suspect that most of us have some sort of connection to several of these pieces, if not all of them. Though I can't provide a uniform framework, perhaps discussing these connections will help others think through theirs.
On the increase in suicide rate, in thinking about this one will soon turn to the labels we have from the abortion issue, either pro-choice or pro-life, and realize that these labels prove highly ironical or entirely dysfunctional, with the correlation that pro-choice people tend to be for more fiscal stimulus and pro-life people tend to be for austerity. The labels Liberal and Conservative get the correlations right but they don't say much at all on the underlying principles for why the correlations occur.
On this matter I think Paul Krugman is quite helpful. I'm a regular reader of his NY Times column and especially since the start of The Great Recession, I have been in pretty much agreement with what he says. Abstracting from the uber rich, who have financial reasons to want austerity - they are creditors holding a lot of debt, the real value of which would erode if there were substantial inflation - the Average Joe Conservative is motivated in support of austerity for quite different reasons. A big one is that it is a kind of penance that the nation must go through for the over indulgence of the previous decade. On a personal level, I'm all for penance. The problem, of course, with this as a policy prescription given that the economy is performing poorly is that austerity has this mysterious Keynesian multiplier effect in reverse - the none-to-healthy economy grows at an anemic rather than robust rate because aggregate demand is too weak. Further, the pain is borne disproportionately by the unemployed. Among those who are long term unemployed, have spent down their entire savings, and who had higher aspirations because they were once part of the middle class, the situation is desperate. No matter your political leaning, one can agree that suicide for a physically healthy person is an act of desperation, somebody unable to see a path of return to the good life.
Conservatives might agree with that last sentence, yet vehemently deny the Keynesian multiplier or, even if they concede on that point might argue that overall it is still good to slash the social safety net, because by and large people get what they deserve. We tend to think the gridlock in Washington is a consequence of the truculence of the politics of our representatives and the lobbyists who manipulate them like mannequins. On guns, this seems to me a correct view. On fiscal policy, I think otherwise. If the contrast between the students to whom I've taught intermediate microeconomics (the last time was spring 2011), who on the whole were far more Conservative than I am, is any indicator of the national picture, then the gridlock in Washington is a consequence of a lack of consensus among the populace on the matter. If that is right, I'm not sure what to do about it. One might hope that thoughtful Conservatives would come around to a Keynesian view here, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. And for that to happen, Krugman (and Brad DeLong) are the wrong messengers to achieve this end. There is too much animus built up over a very long time to expect them to generate some meeting of the minds. Further, leading serious Conservative economists, like Greg Mankiw and John Taylor, simply don't agree.
This is probably too much economics, especially given the subject matter of this post, so let me turn to a personal view and stick with it for the remainder of what I have to say, much of which is about my relationship with my mom and some of it is about me directly.
My mom had a radical mastectomy when I was a kid. My memory on this is not perfect but I believe it happened in spring of 1961. The following summer my parents took a world-wind tour visiting relatives in Denmark, England, Israel, and South Africa. If the date is right, at the time I was six and my mom was thirty eight. She lived to be ninety two, so in that sense it definitely worked. Yet it had many indirect consequences, some of which impacted me in a profound way and not always for the good. Here are two. A couple of years later, when I was in the third grade, I got to play the Sheriff of Hokum County in Bandit Ben Rides Again and sing a song in front of an audience of people I did not know, probably the last time I ever did that. I learned from my mom many years later that the teacher was onto the fact that she had cancer and I got the role not for my prodigious talent as a thespian but rather to give a warm moment to my mom, who deserved a few of those. This one is totally benign and, I think, every teacher who knew the facts would do likewise. Yet it also was an indicator of things that followed.
Sometime afterward, my mother became convinced that she was near death. The cancer would return and that would be that. That conviction became the basis of much else that she did. One of those things was to cajole me some years later into having a faux Bar Mitzvah. I didn't go to Hebrew School so there was no chance of a real ceremony, but there was nothing to prevent having a big party to celebrate my thirteenth birthday, whether I had become a man or not. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic for this, but I wasn't dead against it either. As a thing itself, it was probably the right thing to do. But the way it came about was not good and it had a significant impact on what followed.
Probably every kid who goes through adolescence has some period of rebellion in them, but mine hit particularly hard. A big part of the reason is that my mom saw it as her role to make important life decisions on my behalf and I disagreed with them. Here I'm talking about which school to attend and how I should go about being a good student. This impacted me so negatively that after her funeral this time period is what I'm focused on rather than on the thirty plus years that followed where I'm an adult and she is retired and I have quite a different and happy relationship with her. It took kind of an epiphany to get past that experience from my teen years and focus on what came later.
Now let me return to the Angelina Jolie piece. My immediate reaction to it was not based on this experience as a kid. Rather I tied it to last fall when I spent 5 days in the hospital for an infection in my shoulder (but fortunately not in the bone). I had previously had rotator cuff repair and this was a complication that followed. There was a bit of a fiasco near when I was to leave the hospital. It concerned my care thereafter. Would the infection be treated by a pill or intravenously via a PICC line? The confusion arose out of lack of communication between the various doctors. It eventually got resolved but the experience frightened me a great deal and I needed to get it out of my system, so I wrote a post in Facebook called The Fear of God, available only to my Facebook friends. One of them, herself having survived a bout with cancer, wrote a comment:
There was a very similar line in the Angelina Jolie piece. I reacted strongly to it. It's what made me think about good decision making. I wonder if this line or something like it has become a mantra for cancer patients who are not terminal. I don't know but it seems possible. My health threat is not ongoing. The infection is long gone and I've been out of physical therapy for a while. So I have not taken this line for my own. It may be absolutely necessary for someone who does experience cancer. But here's the thing, it is not sufficient to conclude that a resulting important decision will be a good one. Being strong is not the same as thinking it through.
Anybody who knows me well is aware that I second guess myself. I certainly did about my relationship with my mom during the teen years. But I've also done quite a bit of this about my work life, particularly when I was a campus level administrator, and I continue to do so about decisions I made 10 to 15 years ago, even now having been retired for almost three years. If volume of activity leads to expertise in an area then I'm an expert in regret. You can't know all the derivative things that will happen as the consequence of an important decision at the time you make it. But you can, having come to the choice via WYSIATI, reflect more on some of the consequences and see if there is possibly another path that might be tried so as to avoid the more pernicious outcomes.
My mom had breast cancer at the time she had the procedure, so there was no other path. In the case of Angelina Jolie, she made an elective choice. My goal here is not to Monday morning quarterback that choice. It is only to point out that to know whether it was a good choice or not we'll likely have to wait to read the memoirs by one or two of her kids, after they've grown up.
Let me turn to the Chris Christie thing. I don't believe he has a Yiddish bone in his body, but he and I have something significant in common. We're both fressers. We grew up with overeating a source of pleasure. Sometime later we "learned" to use eating the way little kids use a blanket for security. Aside from the pleasure eating afforded, it was a way to manage stress. If eliminating the stress itself is not an option, the question is whether there are other more healthful ways of dealing with stress. Exercise always pops to the the top of the list when this issue is discussed. I think it is part of the solution. Writing might well be another part - to get the worries that are bottled up outside oneself.
The first step in moving to a healthier life style is a serious diet. I did that between college and grad school, losing about 60 pounds that summer. I did that on my own without any doctor's supervision and no medication to curb the appetite. My younger son did something similar last summer before he became a freshman in college, but he was part of a well supervised diet run by our healthcare provider and while he did that my wife also participated. In my case, I was able to maintain a healthier approach for about 25 years and stay at a normal weight. After that my weight drifted upwards till I again became obese. There were are variety of reasons.
The first, probably, was lack of sleep. Being a young parent is wonderful in many respects, but there is a zombie-like aspect to it because the baby needs to be fed or have a diaper change in the middle of the night. Anybody can deal with that for a short period of time but when it happens over a few years your defenses wear down and your worst instincts can emerge again. Then I had to stop jogging, which had been a great stabilizer for me. My knees eventually hurt too much to jog. My mistake at that point was not to find something else to substitute. I never liked swimming that much, particularly as an adult, because without my glasses the world is one big blur. But I could have taken up power walking or used the equipment at the Gym (there was a rowing machine, for example) and gotten some aerobic workout that way. Instead I went cold turkey, a blunder for sure.
The third factor was switching from being a professor to a campus level administrator, seeing my workload explode with everything seemingly having to be done immediately, and with my role much more visible to others so that I constantly felt responsible to produce reasonable outcomes. As a consequence the stress was ever present. At the same time much of this work I enjoyed because there was novelty for me so I learned a great deal and I seemed reasonably good at it. It certainly wasn't all doom and gloom. It was, however, on the weight front.
I have now reached the point where I'd like to see if I can replicate in some way what I went through after college. For me this would not be about prolonging life. I have "good genes" in that my cholesterol numbers are excellent and now my blood pressure is normal too. But I've got pretty bad arthritis in the hips. Taking the weight off would obviously ease the pain there quite a bit. I've vowed to myself to do this once the pain in my shoulder subsides a bit more. There is no pain at rest. But when I do my stretching exercises it hurts still, not as much as it used to, but certainly it's noticeable. When I'm a little closer to normal, the diet will be the next step in the agenda.
What is one to make of the lap band procedure that Christie had? In my way of thinking it is like imposing a diet when the will isn't quite ready to do so. Once the procedure has occurred the discomfort from eating too much then serves as a ready reminder to eat less in the immediate future. In that sense it has an eerie resemblance to A Clockwork Orange. So one wonders whether it is treating only the symptom, not the cause. The real issue then is not just diet, though that is important. Equally important are what other things Christie changes in his lifestyle to manage the stress and become healthier. On this front, the sensible thing in my view would be for him to take a year off after his current term as Governor concludes and devote that year to his physical well being. During that time he'd get out of the spotlight entirely. Perhaps he'd hire a personal trainer and a diet coach. The goal would be to reach a normal weight before resuming any of the politics. Who knows if that will happen? But I think it next to impossible to try to do this in parallel, while he is making a bid for the Presidency. Changing deeply ingrained habits is not like flipping a switch. It's difficult and takes a lot of time.
Finally, let me discuss the Vermont thing. I found it instructive to do a Google search on "Hospice and Medicare" (without the quotes) after which the first document you find is this one, a pdf from the Government on what opting for Hospice means and how the Medicare coverage for it works. It is a choice for somebody who is near end of life. It is not the only possibility. One can continue with regular Medicare coverage as an alternative and try to fight the illness till the end. In this way of thinking, the Vermont thing offers a third alternative. It is available only to people who have their marbles (so not to dementia patients like my mom). That third alternative might be best if the person has lost control of bodily function and doesn't want to experience the indignity of that or if the person is in pain so intense that the alternative is to be mind numbed by drugs to endure. It seems an entirely different animal to suicide out of desperation from poor economic circumstance. As such it seems humane, not a cop out.
Unfortunately, it doesn't help in the situation my siblings and I experienced with my mom, when the dementia has progressed far enough that there are no more lucid moments yet at a biological level end of life is not imminent. When I was cleaning out her condo I found a longish document from a doctor written in the mid 1990s that there was evidence of dementia then. I hadn't seen that document before. I previously thought the episode she went through at the time - she was out of it for about a month but then did return to normal - was entirely due to too much medication and what she showed then was in essence an allergic reaction to that. I was wrong in my belief.
After my dad passed away my mom had a couple of years of normalcy - although she would repeat the same thing over and over - and then the dementia gradually took over. By 2007 when I'd visit she would not know who I was, couldn't speak, and would have a stupefied look on her face. The health issue for us was this. She was prone to get skin cancers. If those were treated early they would not be life threatening. If left to fester they would spread and cause other problems. What was the right course of action to take? Whose decision was this to make? My mom passed away in December 2012. Based on that you can get some sense as to how those questions were answered.
In discussing the rise in the suicide rate among my contemporaries, many experts have pointed out that the stress on baby boomers is something new, because in addition to worrying about the welfare of their own families they have to worry about the well being of their parents who are still alive. For previous generations, the parents would have already been gone. Our laws and our sense of ethics give insufficient guidance on what to do when the parent can no longer make the decisions. This is the issue of our time that we need to talk about a lot more and then come to some sensible meeting of the minds rather than have each of us individually reinvent the wheel, which is what we seem to have now.
Earlier in the week it felt anything but. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. Then I tend to fixate. Someone had posted to a listserv I follow occasionally with a recommendation for people to take risks in their work lives. I wanted to respond that unless you're Jason Bourne or Jack Bauer you don't want to drive on the wrong side of the road. I normally have the urge to post thoughts, but I suppressed it this time out of fear of regretting it later. Evidently, there are some risks you don't want to take.
Another object of fixation was on the question of whether someone close to the deceased should control themselves at the funeral and bottle up any emotions they have. The first funeral I attended was in 1971 after my Uncle Dan passed away from Leukemia My father and he were partners in a law firm. My dad did break down at the funeral. My Aunt Gertrude got quite angry at this. She was a cold fish. We never liked her very much. I broke down at each of my parent's funerals when I was to say a few words to those in attendance. With my dad I didn't anticipate it. Though I'm entirely areligious, with my mom I wanted a Rabbi at the funeral, armed with the memory of the prior experience. It was the right call.
Earlier this week there had been the funeral of Marianne Ferber, a former colleague in the Economics Department and a near contemporary of my mom. All the relatives who spoke were quite gracious in their remarks, and there was an especially humorous letter read from Bob Ferber to Marianne, his wife, written in 1980, a tongue in cheek pose as a member of the Moral Majority, urging passage of the ERA immediately, before women take over entirely and after which men will have nowhere to turn. For me what was most noteworthy at the service is that each of these presenters maintained full composure. I wonder if that is the norm at funerals in spite of strong feelings about the deceased.
Then there have been so many disparate things in the news recently either about life shortening or life prolonging activity. Among these are the rapid increase in the suicide rate since 2000, particularly among people who are approximately my age, and it's relationship to the economic downturn and austerity in fiscal policy. Add to that the Angelina Jolie thing and the Chris Christie thing. And a high school classmate pointed out that quite recently Vermont has passed Aid In Dying Legislation.
I wanted to provide a framework with which to be able to consider all these experiences in one fell swoop, in order to render some opinion on them. It's hubris, no doubt, but I felt uniquely positioned to do that. I have been in the avelut phase of mourning since the end of December, so I have been grappling with related issues for quite some time. Further, I have the inclination to come up with framing questions and from that perform an analysis that has eluded others and offers them some insight. Alas, while I did have a couple of framing questions I failed to do anything with them. These experiences ultimately seemed too disparate to put under one umbrella.
But I think the framing questions useful in themselves so I will pose them here. First, whose decision is this to make, only the individual and the immediate family, or is there a significant social interest as well? The piece I linked to about austerity and its connection to suicide certainly makes it seem like there is a social interest in that case. What about in the other cases? Second, do we make good decisions or are we apt to make serious mistakes? Here I have in mind Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow, where he argues we have a tendency to come to quick decisions based on our intuition and not go through the mindful and more deliberate process of fully working our way to the conclusion. We are frequently guilty of WYSIATI (What you see is all there is). In Angelina Jolie's case, the memory of the early passing of her mother at age 56 quite possibly trumping other information in coming to the conclusion she did. And we are particularly poor in reasoning through information where randomness is an important part of what we observe, attributing too much causality the normal mistake we make.
Further, the statistical information available in the health arena should often be taken as highly contingent, and the best opinion based on that information might be overturned when new data are available. For example, on the same day as the Angelina Jolie Op-Ed, there was this Editorial about Salt, the benefits of consuming it in contrast to the "conventional wisdom" to restrict its consumption lest it lead to a heart attack. My brother, who is an MD and a PhD, used to joke that in the even numbered years consuming eggs was good for you and in the odd numbers years it was not, presumably a knock on clinical research. I'm afraid that even well train physicians can be guilty of WYSIATI and that short of having a PhD in Statistics and perhaps not even then, the issue of what the data show and what to do as a consequence is quite challenging, perhaps too challenging for the vast majority of us.
With those caveats out of the way, let me discuss each of the pieces individually and my connections to them. I suspect that most of us have some sort of connection to several of these pieces, if not all of them. Though I can't provide a uniform framework, perhaps discussing these connections will help others think through theirs.
On the increase in suicide rate, in thinking about this one will soon turn to the labels we have from the abortion issue, either pro-choice or pro-life, and realize that these labels prove highly ironical or entirely dysfunctional, with the correlation that pro-choice people tend to be for more fiscal stimulus and pro-life people tend to be for austerity. The labels Liberal and Conservative get the correlations right but they don't say much at all on the underlying principles for why the correlations occur.
On this matter I think Paul Krugman is quite helpful. I'm a regular reader of his NY Times column and especially since the start of The Great Recession, I have been in pretty much agreement with what he says. Abstracting from the uber rich, who have financial reasons to want austerity - they are creditors holding a lot of debt, the real value of which would erode if there were substantial inflation - the Average Joe Conservative is motivated in support of austerity for quite different reasons. A big one is that it is a kind of penance that the nation must go through for the over indulgence of the previous decade. On a personal level, I'm all for penance. The problem, of course, with this as a policy prescription given that the economy is performing poorly is that austerity has this mysterious Keynesian multiplier effect in reverse - the none-to-healthy economy grows at an anemic rather than robust rate because aggregate demand is too weak. Further, the pain is borne disproportionately by the unemployed. Among those who are long term unemployed, have spent down their entire savings, and who had higher aspirations because they were once part of the middle class, the situation is desperate. No matter your political leaning, one can agree that suicide for a physically healthy person is an act of desperation, somebody unable to see a path of return to the good life.
Conservatives might agree with that last sentence, yet vehemently deny the Keynesian multiplier or, even if they concede on that point might argue that overall it is still good to slash the social safety net, because by and large people get what they deserve. We tend to think the gridlock in Washington is a consequence of the truculence of the politics of our representatives and the lobbyists who manipulate them like mannequins. On guns, this seems to me a correct view. On fiscal policy, I think otherwise. If the contrast between the students to whom I've taught intermediate microeconomics (the last time was spring 2011), who on the whole were far more Conservative than I am, is any indicator of the national picture, then the gridlock in Washington is a consequence of a lack of consensus among the populace on the matter. If that is right, I'm not sure what to do about it. One might hope that thoughtful Conservatives would come around to a Keynesian view here, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. And for that to happen, Krugman (and Brad DeLong) are the wrong messengers to achieve this end. There is too much animus built up over a very long time to expect them to generate some meeting of the minds. Further, leading serious Conservative economists, like Greg Mankiw and John Taylor, simply don't agree.
This is probably too much economics, especially given the subject matter of this post, so let me turn to a personal view and stick with it for the remainder of what I have to say, much of which is about my relationship with my mom and some of it is about me directly.
My mom had a radical mastectomy when I was a kid. My memory on this is not perfect but I believe it happened in spring of 1961. The following summer my parents took a world-wind tour visiting relatives in Denmark, England, Israel, and South Africa. If the date is right, at the time I was six and my mom was thirty eight. She lived to be ninety two, so in that sense it definitely worked. Yet it had many indirect consequences, some of which impacted me in a profound way and not always for the good. Here are two. A couple of years later, when I was in the third grade, I got to play the Sheriff of Hokum County in Bandit Ben Rides Again and sing a song in front of an audience of people I did not know, probably the last time I ever did that. I learned from my mom many years later that the teacher was onto the fact that she had cancer and I got the role not for my prodigious talent as a thespian but rather to give a warm moment to my mom, who deserved a few of those. This one is totally benign and, I think, every teacher who knew the facts would do likewise. Yet it also was an indicator of things that followed.
Sometime afterward, my mother became convinced that she was near death. The cancer would return and that would be that. That conviction became the basis of much else that she did. One of those things was to cajole me some years later into having a faux Bar Mitzvah. I didn't go to Hebrew School so there was no chance of a real ceremony, but there was nothing to prevent having a big party to celebrate my thirteenth birthday, whether I had become a man or not. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic for this, but I wasn't dead against it either. As a thing itself, it was probably the right thing to do. But the way it came about was not good and it had a significant impact on what followed.
Probably every kid who goes through adolescence has some period of rebellion in them, but mine hit particularly hard. A big part of the reason is that my mom saw it as her role to make important life decisions on my behalf and I disagreed with them. Here I'm talking about which school to attend and how I should go about being a good student. This impacted me so negatively that after her funeral this time period is what I'm focused on rather than on the thirty plus years that followed where I'm an adult and she is retired and I have quite a different and happy relationship with her. It took kind of an epiphany to get past that experience from my teen years and focus on what came later.
Now let me return to the Angelina Jolie piece. My immediate reaction to it was not based on this experience as a kid. Rather I tied it to last fall when I spent 5 days in the hospital for an infection in my shoulder (but fortunately not in the bone). I had previously had rotator cuff repair and this was a complication that followed. There was a bit of a fiasco near when I was to leave the hospital. It concerned my care thereafter. Would the infection be treated by a pill or intravenously via a PICC line? The confusion arose out of lack of communication between the various doctors. It eventually got resolved but the experience frightened me a great deal and I needed to get it out of my system, so I wrote a post in Facebook called The Fear of God, available only to my Facebook friends. One of them, herself having survived a bout with cancer, wrote a comment:
You have taken a very powerful step with the help of your wife - advocating for yourself. Be strong.
There was a very similar line in the Angelina Jolie piece. I reacted strongly to it. It's what made me think about good decision making. I wonder if this line or something like it has become a mantra for cancer patients who are not terminal. I don't know but it seems possible. My health threat is not ongoing. The infection is long gone and I've been out of physical therapy for a while. So I have not taken this line for my own. It may be absolutely necessary for someone who does experience cancer. But here's the thing, it is not sufficient to conclude that a resulting important decision will be a good one. Being strong is not the same as thinking it through.
Anybody who knows me well is aware that I second guess myself. I certainly did about my relationship with my mom during the teen years. But I've also done quite a bit of this about my work life, particularly when I was a campus level administrator, and I continue to do so about decisions I made 10 to 15 years ago, even now having been retired for almost three years. If volume of activity leads to expertise in an area then I'm an expert in regret. You can't know all the derivative things that will happen as the consequence of an important decision at the time you make it. But you can, having come to the choice via WYSIATI, reflect more on some of the consequences and see if there is possibly another path that might be tried so as to avoid the more pernicious outcomes.
My mom had breast cancer at the time she had the procedure, so there was no other path. In the case of Angelina Jolie, she made an elective choice. My goal here is not to Monday morning quarterback that choice. It is only to point out that to know whether it was a good choice or not we'll likely have to wait to read the memoirs by one or two of her kids, after they've grown up.
Let me turn to the Chris Christie thing. I don't believe he has a Yiddish bone in his body, but he and I have something significant in common. We're both fressers. We grew up with overeating a source of pleasure. Sometime later we "learned" to use eating the way little kids use a blanket for security. Aside from the pleasure eating afforded, it was a way to manage stress. If eliminating the stress itself is not an option, the question is whether there are other more healthful ways of dealing with stress. Exercise always pops to the the top of the list when this issue is discussed. I think it is part of the solution. Writing might well be another part - to get the worries that are bottled up outside oneself.
The first step in moving to a healthier life style is a serious diet. I did that between college and grad school, losing about 60 pounds that summer. I did that on my own without any doctor's supervision and no medication to curb the appetite. My younger son did something similar last summer before he became a freshman in college, but he was part of a well supervised diet run by our healthcare provider and while he did that my wife also participated. In my case, I was able to maintain a healthier approach for about 25 years and stay at a normal weight. After that my weight drifted upwards till I again became obese. There were are variety of reasons.
The first, probably, was lack of sleep. Being a young parent is wonderful in many respects, but there is a zombie-like aspect to it because the baby needs to be fed or have a diaper change in the middle of the night. Anybody can deal with that for a short period of time but when it happens over a few years your defenses wear down and your worst instincts can emerge again. Then I had to stop jogging, which had been a great stabilizer for me. My knees eventually hurt too much to jog. My mistake at that point was not to find something else to substitute. I never liked swimming that much, particularly as an adult, because without my glasses the world is one big blur. But I could have taken up power walking or used the equipment at the Gym (there was a rowing machine, for example) and gotten some aerobic workout that way. Instead I went cold turkey, a blunder for sure.
The third factor was switching from being a professor to a campus level administrator, seeing my workload explode with everything seemingly having to be done immediately, and with my role much more visible to others so that I constantly felt responsible to produce reasonable outcomes. As a consequence the stress was ever present. At the same time much of this work I enjoyed because there was novelty for me so I learned a great deal and I seemed reasonably good at it. It certainly wasn't all doom and gloom. It was, however, on the weight front.
I have now reached the point where I'd like to see if I can replicate in some way what I went through after college. For me this would not be about prolonging life. I have "good genes" in that my cholesterol numbers are excellent and now my blood pressure is normal too. But I've got pretty bad arthritis in the hips. Taking the weight off would obviously ease the pain there quite a bit. I've vowed to myself to do this once the pain in my shoulder subsides a bit more. There is no pain at rest. But when I do my stretching exercises it hurts still, not as much as it used to, but certainly it's noticeable. When I'm a little closer to normal, the diet will be the next step in the agenda.
What is one to make of the lap band procedure that Christie had? In my way of thinking it is like imposing a diet when the will isn't quite ready to do so. Once the procedure has occurred the discomfort from eating too much then serves as a ready reminder to eat less in the immediate future. In that sense it has an eerie resemblance to A Clockwork Orange. So one wonders whether it is treating only the symptom, not the cause. The real issue then is not just diet, though that is important. Equally important are what other things Christie changes in his lifestyle to manage the stress and become healthier. On this front, the sensible thing in my view would be for him to take a year off after his current term as Governor concludes and devote that year to his physical well being. During that time he'd get out of the spotlight entirely. Perhaps he'd hire a personal trainer and a diet coach. The goal would be to reach a normal weight before resuming any of the politics. Who knows if that will happen? But I think it next to impossible to try to do this in parallel, while he is making a bid for the Presidency. Changing deeply ingrained habits is not like flipping a switch. It's difficult and takes a lot of time.
Finally, let me discuss the Vermont thing. I found it instructive to do a Google search on "Hospice and Medicare" (without the quotes) after which the first document you find is this one, a pdf from the Government on what opting for Hospice means and how the Medicare coverage for it works. It is a choice for somebody who is near end of life. It is not the only possibility. One can continue with regular Medicare coverage as an alternative and try to fight the illness till the end. In this way of thinking, the Vermont thing offers a third alternative. It is available only to people who have their marbles (so not to dementia patients like my mom). That third alternative might be best if the person has lost control of bodily function and doesn't want to experience the indignity of that or if the person is in pain so intense that the alternative is to be mind numbed by drugs to endure. It seems an entirely different animal to suicide out of desperation from poor economic circumstance. As such it seems humane, not a cop out.
Unfortunately, it doesn't help in the situation my siblings and I experienced with my mom, when the dementia has progressed far enough that there are no more lucid moments yet at a biological level end of life is not imminent. When I was cleaning out her condo I found a longish document from a doctor written in the mid 1990s that there was evidence of dementia then. I hadn't seen that document before. I previously thought the episode she went through at the time - she was out of it for about a month but then did return to normal - was entirely due to too much medication and what she showed then was in essence an allergic reaction to that. I was wrong in my belief.
After my dad passed away my mom had a couple of years of normalcy - although she would repeat the same thing over and over - and then the dementia gradually took over. By 2007 when I'd visit she would not know who I was, couldn't speak, and would have a stupefied look on her face. The health issue for us was this. She was prone to get skin cancers. If those were treated early they would not be life threatening. If left to fester they would spread and cause other problems. What was the right course of action to take? Whose decision was this to make? My mom passed away in December 2012. Based on that you can get some sense as to how those questions were answered.
In discussing the rise in the suicide rate among my contemporaries, many experts have pointed out that the stress on baby boomers is something new, because in addition to worrying about the welfare of their own families they have to worry about the well being of their parents who are still alive. For previous generations, the parents would have already been gone. Our laws and our sense of ethics give insufficient guidance on what to do when the parent can no longer make the decisions. This is the issue of our time that we need to talk about a lot more and then come to some sensible meeting of the minds rather than have each of us individually reinvent the wheel, which is what we seem to have now.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
The role of music in our informal education - touching our parents in the afterlife
The last few months I've spent significant time digitizing - mainly family photos, also some historical family documents. It started out as pure joy, though occasionally tearful. There was a larger purpose - to preserve this record for my kids, my brother's kid, the larger family, and future generations. And I was pleasantly surprised at how good the scans turned out. The relatively inexpensive Epson Printer I bought recently, to replace a different printer that had run its course, produces high resolution scans and seems to make the colors more vibrant.
But after a fashion pleasure reduces to obligation. There are so many photos, many of my own family. The burden of what is still left to be done became more daunting. Physical activity that has to be done - I will mow the lawn later this morning - can justify itself. Once there is little for me to learn by the scanning, the activity becomes less appealing as it provides no immediate reward. And a couple of days ago I started to error messages on the printer that it wasn't communicating with my computer. I need to troubleshoot that but it seemed a headache at the time so I put it off.
I turned to something else instead. I had collected up all the audio cassettes I could find in my parent's condo and brought them back to Champaign along with some pictures. The rest of the pictures, all in photo albums, I shipped by UPS. That was at the beginning of March. The photo albums are still in the UPS boxes. The audio cassettes sat on the dining table, untouched, until a couple of weeks ago. (We don't entertain too much these days. The dining room became a temporary storage place.) Then by happenstance I realized we had a boombox in the garage that plays cassettes. It was quite dusty, having sat in that same position in the garage for a few years, but it proved functional. I had guessed that many of the cassettes would be ruined, with the tape too stuck to play. The one I tried, however, played reasonably well and I became more optimistic that the rest of the collection would do likewise. But listening on the boombox wasn't quite doing it for me.
So I got the yen to digitize these cassettes, which is where my path to discovery about the music began. Here's a bit on the digitizing before getting to the music itself. If you do a Google search on something like "audio cassette to MP3" you will find tutorials for how to do this and links to a bunch of different possible hardware for the purpose. I had actually done a fair amount of digitizing audio many years ago - converting my old records from my college days to MP3 using an ION USB-turntable and bringing in the audio into Audacity. The weak link in the chain for that was keeping the tone-arm on the record with the right weight. That was an analog, not digital, process. It worked well on some records, less well on others. Where it worked the quality was pretty good by my listening standards (not particularly high). Where it didn't work is because there would be skipping frequently.
That prior experience disposed me positively toward ION and I ended up buying their Tape 2 Go, a rather Spartan but functional device. It's pretty inexpensive and I'm a cheapskate at heart. Further, it matched the type of music I was recording - mainly folk songs with the singer's voice and a simple guitar line as accompaniment. If it was mostly orchestral music, perhaps a higher end machine would be preferred.
It took me a while to figure out how the thing works and at the outset I feared it didn't. There is no on-off button and no LED to indicate that the thing is on. Also none of the buttons open the slot to the unit where the cassette goes. You have to do that manually. And I thought the instructions not clear about what to do when the tape comes to an end. It seems to play only in the direction the play button is pointed. You have to take the tape out and turn it over when it has come to the end. Having figured this out, the things does what it is supposed to do. It has a headphone jack so you can listen to the music while it records. Alternatively, you can listen through the speakers on your computer.
For the first cassette I recorded I used the software that ION provides. They say it is easier than Audacity. It puts the recording into iTunes. That part is okay but I found it unsatisfactory because it wants to make a track for each song. I wanted to record the entire side of the tape as one track. But further, it was making a lot of false positives - creating splits within a song where there is a momentary pause. That was a pain. So I started to use Audacity after that initial experience. It worked well for me. After the recording was done I would use the noise reduction tool under the Effect menu, but make no other processing changes, which is consistent with my one-two-three-zing approach. Then I'd save it as an Audacity project and in doing so give it a name. Finally, I'd export it as MP3, which asks for some metadata so I'd put in the singers' names at that point.
I started to listen to the music just to see if it was audible enough to be worth recording. I soon got drawn in by what I was hearing. I've now done 10 cassettes, each more than 45 minutes per side. So this is about 15 hours of listening. It was fascinating both because much of it I had never heard before or had no memory of hearing and because how beautiful much of it is. Then there was familiarity with some of the songs but not the artists performing them. And with Harry Belafonte, Pete Seeger, and Burl Ives there was familiarity with both.
Two unique performers, at least to this collection, are Édith Piaf and Theodore Bikel. Piaf's songs are all in French and reminiscent of Caberet. They are beautiful to listen to even though my French is so limited that at best I can pick out a few words, not a complete lyric. Bikel performs in multiple languages - English, French, but mainly Hebrew.
There is something different in listening to the music when able to access the Internet at the same time. The names of the artists that were new to me would not have been memorable without being able to make some other sort of connection to them. In the case of Bob Ross and Andrew Rowan Summers I was able to find the exact album I was listening to on the Smithsonian Folkways Web site. This is music my father listened to, though I don't know when. But it clearly was part of his inner being. I found it mildly disturbing that this stuff is still copyrighted so can't be streamed online from the Smithsonian site. (Spotify is the answer, more about that below.) I did take that as a warning not to make my recordings publicly available.
There is a lot of Richard Dyer-Bennet. When you listen to him at first it sounds almost like a woman's voice and I'm not sure whether it's falsetto or not. His phrasing is very interesting and to my untutored ears he adopts a Brogue in many of his songs.
Much of the what I heard are "Standards" so there are many different artists who perform the same song. The most hauntingly beautiful of these is Venezuela. This video is interesting, not for the performance but for the notes that are included which gives some of the history of the song. Some of the other standards are The Fox - ...,many a mile head to go that night before he reached the town-o, The Riddle Song - I gave my love a cherry..., and The Foggy Foggy Dew - When I was a bachelor I lived all alone, I worked at the weaver's trade.... In retrospect, Spotify seems an excellent source of this music and the fidelity is probably much better fidelity than I'm getting with the recording. For example, this version of Venezuela by Bob Ross is really quite wonderful. I like it better than the John Jacob Niles version. At some point I'll build my own collection in Spotify, but for now I'll keep up with the recording of my dad's music, because in that there is discovery of what he listened to. For reasons I can't fully put my finger on, I feel a need for that music to become part of me.
Much of this is remarkably simple music, just the singer's voice with a very straightforward guitar accompaniment. The rhythms are not complex at all and the songs are similar in that respect. With that they are melodious and deeply moving, both the familiar ones and those entirely new to me. I don't know whether it will draw in the next generation like it has for me. It is part of our history. It would be good not to lose it.
But after a fashion pleasure reduces to obligation. There are so many photos, many of my own family. The burden of what is still left to be done became more daunting. Physical activity that has to be done - I will mow the lawn later this morning - can justify itself. Once there is little for me to learn by the scanning, the activity becomes less appealing as it provides no immediate reward. And a couple of days ago I started to error messages on the printer that it wasn't communicating with my computer. I need to troubleshoot that but it seemed a headache at the time so I put it off.
I turned to something else instead. I had collected up all the audio cassettes I could find in my parent's condo and brought them back to Champaign along with some pictures. The rest of the pictures, all in photo albums, I shipped by UPS. That was at the beginning of March. The photo albums are still in the UPS boxes. The audio cassettes sat on the dining table, untouched, until a couple of weeks ago. (We don't entertain too much these days. The dining room became a temporary storage place.) Then by happenstance I realized we had a boombox in the garage that plays cassettes. It was quite dusty, having sat in that same position in the garage for a few years, but it proved functional. I had guessed that many of the cassettes would be ruined, with the tape too stuck to play. The one I tried, however, played reasonably well and I became more optimistic that the rest of the collection would do likewise. But listening on the boombox wasn't quite doing it for me.
So I got the yen to digitize these cassettes, which is where my path to discovery about the music began. Here's a bit on the digitizing before getting to the music itself. If you do a Google search on something like "audio cassette to MP3" you will find tutorials for how to do this and links to a bunch of different possible hardware for the purpose. I had actually done a fair amount of digitizing audio many years ago - converting my old records from my college days to MP3 using an ION USB-turntable and bringing in the audio into Audacity. The weak link in the chain for that was keeping the tone-arm on the record with the right weight. That was an analog, not digital, process. It worked well on some records, less well on others. Where it worked the quality was pretty good by my listening standards (not particularly high). Where it didn't work is because there would be skipping frequently.
That prior experience disposed me positively toward ION and I ended up buying their Tape 2 Go, a rather Spartan but functional device. It's pretty inexpensive and I'm a cheapskate at heart. Further, it matched the type of music I was recording - mainly folk songs with the singer's voice and a simple guitar line as accompaniment. If it was mostly orchestral music, perhaps a higher end machine would be preferred.
It took me a while to figure out how the thing works and at the outset I feared it didn't. There is no on-off button and no LED to indicate that the thing is on. Also none of the buttons open the slot to the unit where the cassette goes. You have to do that manually. And I thought the instructions not clear about what to do when the tape comes to an end. It seems to play only in the direction the play button is pointed. You have to take the tape out and turn it over when it has come to the end. Having figured this out, the things does what it is supposed to do. It has a headphone jack so you can listen to the music while it records. Alternatively, you can listen through the speakers on your computer.
For the first cassette I recorded I used the software that ION provides. They say it is easier than Audacity. It puts the recording into iTunes. That part is okay but I found it unsatisfactory because it wants to make a track for each song. I wanted to record the entire side of the tape as one track. But further, it was making a lot of false positives - creating splits within a song where there is a momentary pause. That was a pain. So I started to use Audacity after that initial experience. It worked well for me. After the recording was done I would use the noise reduction tool under the Effect menu, but make no other processing changes, which is consistent with my one-two-three-zing approach. Then I'd save it as an Audacity project and in doing so give it a name. Finally, I'd export it as MP3, which asks for some metadata so I'd put in the singers' names at that point.
I started to listen to the music just to see if it was audible enough to be worth recording. I soon got drawn in by what I was hearing. I've now done 10 cassettes, each more than 45 minutes per side. So this is about 15 hours of listening. It was fascinating both because much of it I had never heard before or had no memory of hearing and because how beautiful much of it is. Then there was familiarity with some of the songs but not the artists performing them. And with Harry Belafonte, Pete Seeger, and Burl Ives there was familiarity with both.
Two unique performers, at least to this collection, are Édith Piaf and Theodore Bikel. Piaf's songs are all in French and reminiscent of Caberet. They are beautiful to listen to even though my French is so limited that at best I can pick out a few words, not a complete lyric. Bikel performs in multiple languages - English, French, but mainly Hebrew.
There is something different in listening to the music when able to access the Internet at the same time. The names of the artists that were new to me would not have been memorable without being able to make some other sort of connection to them. In the case of Bob Ross and Andrew Rowan Summers I was able to find the exact album I was listening to on the Smithsonian Folkways Web site. This is music my father listened to, though I don't know when. But it clearly was part of his inner being. I found it mildly disturbing that this stuff is still copyrighted so can't be streamed online from the Smithsonian site. (Spotify is the answer, more about that below.) I did take that as a warning not to make my recordings publicly available.
There is a lot of Richard Dyer-Bennet. When you listen to him at first it sounds almost like a woman's voice and I'm not sure whether it's falsetto or not. His phrasing is very interesting and to my untutored ears he adopts a Brogue in many of his songs.
Much of the what I heard are "Standards" so there are many different artists who perform the same song. The most hauntingly beautiful of these is Venezuela. This video is interesting, not for the performance but for the notes that are included which gives some of the history of the song. Some of the other standards are The Fox - ...,many a mile head to go that night before he reached the town-o, The Riddle Song - I gave my love a cherry..., and The Foggy Foggy Dew - When I was a bachelor I lived all alone, I worked at the weaver's trade.... In retrospect, Spotify seems an excellent source of this music and the fidelity is probably much better fidelity than I'm getting with the recording. For example, this version of Venezuela by Bob Ross is really quite wonderful. I like it better than the John Jacob Niles version. At some point I'll build my own collection in Spotify, but for now I'll keep up with the recording of my dad's music, because in that there is discovery of what he listened to. For reasons I can't fully put my finger on, I feel a need for that music to become part of me.
Much of this is remarkably simple music, just the singer's voice with a very straightforward guitar accompaniment. The rhythms are not complex at all and the songs are similar in that respect. With that they are melodious and deeply moving, both the familiar ones and those entirely new to me. I don't know whether it will draw in the next generation like it has for me. It is part of our history. It would be good not to lose it.
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Things that don't mix
- Oil and Water
- Research Universities and Big Time College Sports
This Joe Nocera piece makes for a good read. Imagine what would happen if a University President at a big R1 said to the alumni and current students that they planned to move to Division 3 in an effort to keep the ethical environment on campus from consistently being tainted by recruiting scandals, athletes who are not really students, and boosters giving buck to the stars when they aren't supposed to do that.
Thursday, May 02, 2013
An Adult Spin On Childhood Memories
On Wonderama, there was Sonny Fox.
A household drama - finding matching socks.
And I recall that things were calmer
With Shelter Drills and Strangelove's bomber.
A household drama - finding matching socks.
And I recall that things were calmer
With Shelter Drills and Strangelove's bomber.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Paul Krugman's Macroeconomics in a Nutshell
A mistaken belief
Has created much grief.
While the Right so disdains
There is wisdom in Keynes.
For Depression ending
More Government spending.
Then the multiplier
Drives GDP higher.
Has created much grief.
While the Right so disdains
There is wisdom in Keynes.
For Depression ending
More Government spending.
Then the multiplier
Drives GDP higher.
A Luddite's Lament
Is it hyperconnected
Or really disaffected?
Not especially bitter
I choose not to use Twitter.
Thinking an arduous slog
For me it's better to blog.
The Social Contract broken
No ode to Arthur Okun.
Or really disaffected?
Not especially bitter
I choose not to use Twitter.
Thinking an arduous slog
For me it's better to blog.
The Social Contract broken
No ode to Arthur Okun.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Math Modeling for the Math Phobic Student - The Dilemmas*
*Subtitle - Drill or Meta Skill?
Since 2011 in my Econ classes I have embraced a "dual track" approach to the material. One track is narrative-discursive and I have the students blog, with an attempt to tie their own experiences to the topic under consideration. This track has worked reasonably well and based on responses from the students they like and appreciate that part. The other track is a math modeling-analytic approach. This has worked much less well. Teaching math modeling in Econ courses has always been difficult for me dating back to 1980, with the exception of the Math Econ and Honors Intermediate Micro courses where the students had the requisite proficiency. The rest of the time a handful of students would get it, but the rest would not. In my last offering this past fall, the better students began to catch on a bit around the middle of the course. The not so good students never caught on at all. I have been noodling on what to do about it since I got the course evaluations. Several of the students wrote that they would have liked to been drilled on the math more. I found that odd and I've been conflicted about how to respond. I will teach the same course again this coming fall. I want to maintain the dual track approach but do a better job with the math track. I'm still not quite sure what I will try that is different from the last time. Below are the aspirations and issues. Taken together they are mutually contradictory, at least in my experience.
Teach in the Language of the Discipline
When I first got started with learning technology I read multiple times that a significant part of undergraduate instruction in the major should be to enculturate the students into the discipline. In my case this means student should learn to "think like an economist" and it means students should develop some fluency in the language of economics, which is math. It is this imperative which keeps me with the dual track, even when the math track doesn't seem to work.
A related issue is at what level the math should be presented. My sense of the answer to this is represented by this video on Jensen's Inequality, where the entire presentation is graphical and the random income has a two-point support, and this follow up video, where the same material is analyzed in an algebraic way. Students need facility with both approaches, but there is no need to go beyond a two-state world to get at the issues.
I am leaning toward doing this with the rest of the math in the course and take a flipped classroom approach: micro-lectures online and some homework online too but then additional problems for students to work in class for practice. I believe that one of the big issues is that either students won't practice on their own or they don't know how to do this with the math.
Provide Students with Durable Human Capital
My class last fall had seventeen students. Two asked me to write letters for them to graduate school. I assume that most of the rest will not go to graduate school, at least not immediately after graduation. (Some of the students were juniors and might ask me for a letter next year, but I can imagine only one or two in that category.) So there is an issue of what durable value, if any, the math modeling gives to the students who will not study economics beyond the bachelors.
For an specific model the answer may very well be, none whatsoever. I do believe, however, that the ability to reason through about reality by focusing on an abstract representation and reasoning about that is a very useful skill for a manager. I know that when I had my administrative positions on campus I would do that fairly often and I believe it helps to make sense of what is going on.
But, to be fair, then a simple abstract model would have to be constructed to match the situation. It wasn't that you could simply pull a known model from some list of models and apply it to the situation, though perhaps with budgeting issues you can do something of that sort.
In conjunction with this skill there is a need to develop a healthy skepticism about the predictions of the model. Abstract models may very well omit features of reality that are actually important to consider. Expected Utility Theory and what risk aversion means in that setting (the why for students needing to know Jensen's Inequality) provides a very strong sense of rationality. It is known that most people don't act in accord with the predictions of expected utility theory. They are instead subject to various "mistakes" due to how a particular gamble is framed.
A more realistic approach, known as Prospect Theory, takes into account the framing. But it is more complex to present and it is non trivial what is to serve as the status quo in any particular instance. So my approach had been not to do prospect theory but instead only do expected utility theory and then provide examples where is sure seems that individuals and groups are not acting rationality. We use a non-economics textbook for those. The goal is for students to learn the predictions of the model can be used as a baseline, and is useful for that, but not always as predictions of actual behavior.
I suspect that getting students to come to such a realization is beyond the capacity of any single course, unless the student already has some fairly sophisticated math modeling capabilities. This gets me to the next point.
Create Value Add for Students Based On Where They Are
It's no mystery that students are heterogeneous in their prior preparation and commitment to their studies. With the blogging, I'm able to react to what they write and give feedback situated in their post, the sort of feedback that encourages them to think a bit harder on what they've already said. It is harder with the math to customize feedback in this way.
If I were tutoring a student individually and the student got stuck on a problem, I would begin by noting that most of being stuck is not understanding what the question is asking. Students are usually pretty good at applying a procedure they've been taught. It is not understanding which procedure is relevant to be applied that is usually the issue. So I might then offer a suggestion aimed to partially get the student to consider what the question is asking and see if that does the trick. The goal is to have the student herself reason through as much of the problem as is possible. In other words, the hints shouldn't be near to a full solution of the problem.
So I think I could offer the requisite customization if done one-on-one. But I don't teach the class that way. At least I haven't so far. I could try to do some online office hours and see if that would help. Maybe the flipped classroom approach will be sufficient, though I'm skeptical on this front. Students who don't get it tend to be shy about it and thus rather than ameliorate the situation they let it fester.
Have Students Develop an Intuitive Understanding of the Theory
I believe that students should approach the math in much the same way that Sherlock Holmes approaches a mystery. There are clues. Those must be uncovered. Then they must be pieced together to create a picture.
I'll illustrate what I mean below, but first let me offer a caveat. In the type of homework problems one can give in a course like this, deductive logic is all that is needed. Conan Doyle wrote Sherlock Holmes in that manner - it's all deductive logic. For a manager, however, even after examining the various clues, there remains a fair amount of uncertainty. Statistical inference is necessary as much or more than simple deduction. And in practice, administrators frequently make inference based on anecdote only, because statistical information is not readily available. My point is not to oversell how much a course like this can prepare students for future management work.
The question below is from my second midterm last fall. I will do a bit of Sherlock Holmes on it to analyze what's going on. Some students got it. It's for the ones who didn't that I'm writing this post.
The Sherlock Holmes like student will compare the alternative contracts to the optimal contract given in the problem. The results is
1. For the alternative contract both wL and wH are the average of what they were in the optimal contract.
2. wL is lower in the alternative contract than in the optimal contract while wH is the same in both contracts.
3. wL is the same in both contracts while wH is lower in the alternative contract.
4. wL is the same in both contracts while wH is higher in the alternative contract.
Armed with the information and some rudimentary understanding of the theory, the student can perform the appropriate matching. Without this information, there is no way to get at the right matching. The intuition I mention will lead the student to make these comparisons.
In my view, it is obvious that these comparisons need to be made, so all the students should have gotten the question right. Of course, since I wrote the question it is obvious to me. The performance evidence from administering the exam is that the students didn't think it was so obvious. Since the course evaluations are anonymous I don't know this for a fact, but my surmisal is that students wanting drill are the same ones who didn't think to make these comparisons on this question.
I believe that students should be able to make some headway in understanding a situation even when there is novelty to it. So while I understand that the student may need some practice to master the theory itself, I don't want to have to restrict the testing of that understanding to scenarios that the students have already seen. Seeing a possible path in a novel situation requires intuition.
How do we get over the hump to where the math phobic student shows some willingness to embrace the novel situation? I wish I had a good answer for that question.
Since 2011 in my Econ classes I have embraced a "dual track" approach to the material. One track is narrative-discursive and I have the students blog, with an attempt to tie their own experiences to the topic under consideration. This track has worked reasonably well and based on responses from the students they like and appreciate that part. The other track is a math modeling-analytic approach. This has worked much less well. Teaching math modeling in Econ courses has always been difficult for me dating back to 1980, with the exception of the Math Econ and Honors Intermediate Micro courses where the students had the requisite proficiency. The rest of the time a handful of students would get it, but the rest would not. In my last offering this past fall, the better students began to catch on a bit around the middle of the course. The not so good students never caught on at all. I have been noodling on what to do about it since I got the course evaluations. Several of the students wrote that they would have liked to been drilled on the math more. I found that odd and I've been conflicted about how to respond. I will teach the same course again this coming fall. I want to maintain the dual track approach but do a better job with the math track. I'm still not quite sure what I will try that is different from the last time. Below are the aspirations and issues. Taken together they are mutually contradictory, at least in my experience.
Teach in the Language of the Discipline
When I first got started with learning technology I read multiple times that a significant part of undergraduate instruction in the major should be to enculturate the students into the discipline. In my case this means student should learn to "think like an economist" and it means students should develop some fluency in the language of economics, which is math. It is this imperative which keeps me with the dual track, even when the math track doesn't seem to work.
A related issue is at what level the math should be presented. My sense of the answer to this is represented by this video on Jensen's Inequality, where the entire presentation is graphical and the random income has a two-point support, and this follow up video, where the same material is analyzed in an algebraic way. Students need facility with both approaches, but there is no need to go beyond a two-state world to get at the issues.
I am leaning toward doing this with the rest of the math in the course and take a flipped classroom approach: micro-lectures online and some homework online too but then additional problems for students to work in class for practice. I believe that one of the big issues is that either students won't practice on their own or they don't know how to do this with the math.
Provide Students with Durable Human Capital
My class last fall had seventeen students. Two asked me to write letters for them to graduate school. I assume that most of the rest will not go to graduate school, at least not immediately after graduation. (Some of the students were juniors and might ask me for a letter next year, but I can imagine only one or two in that category.) So there is an issue of what durable value, if any, the math modeling gives to the students who will not study economics beyond the bachelors.
For an specific model the answer may very well be, none whatsoever. I do believe, however, that the ability to reason through about reality by focusing on an abstract representation and reasoning about that is a very useful skill for a manager. I know that when I had my administrative positions on campus I would do that fairly often and I believe it helps to make sense of what is going on.
But, to be fair, then a simple abstract model would have to be constructed to match the situation. It wasn't that you could simply pull a known model from some list of models and apply it to the situation, though perhaps with budgeting issues you can do something of that sort.
In conjunction with this skill there is a need to develop a healthy skepticism about the predictions of the model. Abstract models may very well omit features of reality that are actually important to consider. Expected Utility Theory and what risk aversion means in that setting (the why for students needing to know Jensen's Inequality) provides a very strong sense of rationality. It is known that most people don't act in accord with the predictions of expected utility theory. They are instead subject to various "mistakes" due to how a particular gamble is framed.
A more realistic approach, known as Prospect Theory, takes into account the framing. But it is more complex to present and it is non trivial what is to serve as the status quo in any particular instance. So my approach had been not to do prospect theory but instead only do expected utility theory and then provide examples where is sure seems that individuals and groups are not acting rationality. We use a non-economics textbook for those. The goal is for students to learn the predictions of the model can be used as a baseline, and is useful for that, but not always as predictions of actual behavior.
I suspect that getting students to come to such a realization is beyond the capacity of any single course, unless the student already has some fairly sophisticated math modeling capabilities. This gets me to the next point.
Create Value Add for Students Based On Where They Are
It's no mystery that students are heterogeneous in their prior preparation and commitment to their studies. With the blogging, I'm able to react to what they write and give feedback situated in their post, the sort of feedback that encourages them to think a bit harder on what they've already said. It is harder with the math to customize feedback in this way.
If I were tutoring a student individually and the student got stuck on a problem, I would begin by noting that most of being stuck is not understanding what the question is asking. Students are usually pretty good at applying a procedure they've been taught. It is not understanding which procedure is relevant to be applied that is usually the issue. So I might then offer a suggestion aimed to partially get the student to consider what the question is asking and see if that does the trick. The goal is to have the student herself reason through as much of the problem as is possible. In other words, the hints shouldn't be near to a full solution of the problem.
So I think I could offer the requisite customization if done one-on-one. But I don't teach the class that way. At least I haven't so far. I could try to do some online office hours and see if that would help. Maybe the flipped classroom approach will be sufficient, though I'm skeptical on this front. Students who don't get it tend to be shy about it and thus rather than ameliorate the situation they let it fester.
Have Students Develop an Intuitive Understanding of the Theory
I believe that students should approach the math in much the same way that Sherlock Holmes approaches a mystery. There are clues. Those must be uncovered. Then they must be pieced together to create a picture.
I'll illustrate what I mean below, but first let me offer a caveat. In the type of homework problems one can give in a course like this, deductive logic is all that is needed. Conan Doyle wrote Sherlock Holmes in that manner - it's all deductive logic. For a manager, however, even after examining the various clues, there remains a fair amount of uncertainty. Statistical inference is necessary as much or more than simple deduction. And in practice, administrators frequently make inference based on anecdote only, because statistical information is not readily available. My point is not to oversell how much a course like this can prepare students for future management work.
The question below is from my second midterm last fall. I will do a bit of Sherlock Holmes on it to analyze what's going on. Some students got it. It's for the ones who didn't that I'm writing this post.
1. For the alternative contract both wL and wH are the average of what they were in the optimal contract.
2. wL is lower in the alternative contract than in the optimal contract while wH is the same in both contracts.
3. wL is the same in both contracts while wH is lower in the alternative contract.
4. wL is the same in both contracts while wH is higher in the alternative contract.
Armed with the information and some rudimentary understanding of the theory, the student can perform the appropriate matching. Without this information, there is no way to get at the right matching. The intuition I mention will lead the student to make these comparisons.
In my view, it is obvious that these comparisons need to be made, so all the students should have gotten the question right. Of course, since I wrote the question it is obvious to me. The performance evidence from administering the exam is that the students didn't think it was so obvious. Since the course evaluations are anonymous I don't know this for a fact, but my surmisal is that students wanting drill are the same ones who didn't think to make these comparisons on this question.
I believe that students should be able to make some headway in understanding a situation even when there is novelty to it. So while I understand that the student may need some practice to master the theory itself, I don't want to have to restrict the testing of that understanding to scenarios that the students have already seen. Seeing a possible path in a novel situation requires intuition.
How do we get over the hump to where the math phobic student shows some willingness to embrace the novel situation? I wish I had a good answer for that question.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Getting Rid of Writing-without-Citing
The anti plagiarism
Software has made a schism.
Idealist writing teachers -
Those novel project preachers
Want instructors to spend time.
Giving feedback is sublime.
Most teaching anything else
Want student writing by stealth.
Though there's some who do require
Twenty pages or higher
In one end of term paper,
An idea constipator.
More frequent shorter pieces
Rather than a major thesis
For subject introduction
Or extending discussion
Ties writing to the learning
And in the process turning
Students to eager beavers
Instead of would be cheaters.
Software has made a schism.
Idealist writing teachers -
Those novel project preachers
Want instructors to spend time.
Giving feedback is sublime.
Most teaching anything else
Want student writing by stealth.
Though there's some who do require
Twenty pages or higher
In one end of term paper,
An idea constipator.
More frequent shorter pieces
Rather than a major thesis
For subject introduction
Or extending discussion
Ties writing to the learning
And in the process turning
Students to eager beavers
Instead of would be cheaters.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Rigged Game?
Forthwith with true democracy
The myth of meritocracy
With talent but disconnected
From gallant to disaffected
The Ivies have their glass ceiling
Unwisely and unappealing.
The myth of meritocracy
With talent but disconnected
From gallant to disaffected
The Ivies have their glass ceiling
Unwisely and unappealing.
Friday, April 05, 2013
This Is A Complete Mischaracterization
David Brooks has another column today on MOOCs and their likely impact on Higher Education. He says things that drive me batty. The following paragraph, in particular, bothered me a lot.
When is rote appropriate?
There are things you absolutely must memorize: SSN, home address, date of birth, phone number, combination for gym locker, etc. When that information is retrieved it is given exactly the way it is learned. There may be aspects of rote that are appropriate for learning technical subjects - notation, certain key words, the names of famous people in the field. But knowing this is not synonymous with knowledge of the subject.
What happens when rote is used where it is inappropriate?
There is a joke we learned in grade school:
Teacher: Jane, can you use the word diploma in a sentence?
Jane: When the drain got stuck she called diploma.
Technical knowledge must be used in context. If "learned" in a rote manner then the student can't apply it properly.
What then is technical knowledge?
Technical knowledge is a meta skill or if you prefer a problem solving ability of a certain type. It requires an ability to learn the requisite information needed as the context suggests. It is not recall of things previously learned.
Here is a simple example. A few weeks ago I wanted to make a PowerPoint with an embedded MP3 file to play for the duration of the presentation when in Slideshow mode. In order to figure out how to do this, something I hadn't done before with PowerPoint, I had to read the built in help. So one part of the meta skill is being able to find the help that's necessary and then to digest it. As it turns out what the help said didn't completely match what I saw on my computer screen, so another part of the meta skill is to tinker enough to get the gist of what's in the help and accomplish the task when there are small departures from what it said.
Technical knowledge is robust that way. In contrast, things learned by rote are quite brittle. When there are tiny perturbations in the environment, the person feels lost.
To summarize, technical knowledge is the learning to learn ability in a certain subject matter domain. One possesses technical knowledge when one can transfer the recipes that Brooks mention to a context where it may not be immediate that the recipe applies to address the issue.
* * * * *
Now a tiny bit on lectures and MOOCs as it speaks to the above. Personally, I like lectures, subject to a few caveats. I need to be comfortable where I'm sitting. There should be enough novelty for me that there is a personal value add. And the speaker needs to show some passion or animation for the subject. For me lectures are intellectual fodder. They are not sufficient for my learning. I must process the ideas on my own. The lecture can either be a prod for doing that or a confirmation that prior processing was on track. My processing is done in a way to produce the ability to transfer what I learn. It is in some sense like the scientific method in that after I think I've come to understand something I test it out in a different setting that seems to fit to see if it works. I understand, if it does. I need to process more, if it does not.
My sense of this is that other people who learn deeply might do a different sort of processing to come to the same understanding, but each one does something along these lines. For those people who already understand to do this, lectures can be quite a good thing. By extrapolation, MOOCs should also work quite well for this population.
A large group of students, however, seem to operate under the same wrong idea that Brooks has. They think the right approach of the student in the lecture is to memorize. They don't grow much at all from doing that. They probably get bored and/or disillusioned with what they are doing, because it's an activity that isn't useful. Implicitly, they understand that. Those among the faculty who view the lecture as a bad thing are focusing on these students. They need to be coached, cajoled, whatever it takes, to move away from memorization toward something more organic regarding their learning. One big thing is that they need to learn to fail, temporarily, but also to persist until their processing produces reasonable results. Lectures as they are currently done don't seem to be doing that for these students. Again by extrapolation, MOOCs won't solve this problem.
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Is "No Brainer" A Double Entendre?
If it is, I leave it to the reader to provide the other meaning. The rest of this post will focus on a particular example.
Today I attended some of the early presentations at the ELI Focus Session on MOOCs. One of those was by some instructional designers on how to create an environment conducive to the production of effective MOOCs. I am going to ignore the bulk of what they said and zero in on only one thing:
This is a mantra to an instructional designer. You hear it almost every time one of them gives a presentation about course design. I wince every time I hear it.
The question is: clear to whom and clear when?
Let me suggest four possible answers to this question:
My understanding is that they mean the answer to apply at the outset of the course, so it is numbers 1 and 3 that hold. But if you think about it a little more, that is problematic. To illustrate why, here are some snips from my students last fall, writing their ultimate blog post. This was to talk about what they got out of the course, what issues they had with the course, and any suggested changes they'd make in a subsequent offering of the course.
One student started out his post with:
Another student followed up her first paragraph with:
If learning is the act of acquiring knowledge then prior to that acquisition there is ignorance. While in an ignorant state, how can the goals of what will be learned be clear? Shouldn't those goals be opaque?
You might say that's fine for the student but the instructor who knows his stuff surely has clear goals for the course. Here, I think it is useful to take a page from Made to Stick. The job of the presenter is not to present the ideas in the presentation. The job of the presenter is to create connections between what the audience already knows with the ideas in the presentation. At the outset of the course, the instructor is ignorant of what students already know. Further, if you return to the paragraph from the second student, if the instructor attempts to bring in relevant experience the student has had prior to taking the course, the instructor is also ignorant of that experience at the outset.
Hindsight is 20-20. Foresight is never that good.
Today I attended some of the early presentations at the ELI Focus Session on MOOCs. One of those was by some instructional designers on how to create an environment conducive to the production of effective MOOCs. I am going to ignore the bulk of what they said and zero in on only one thing:
A well designed course should have clear goals.
This is a mantra to an instructional designer. You hear it almost every time one of them gives a presentation about course design. I wince every time I hear it.
The question is: clear to whom and clear when?
Let me suggest four possible answers to this question:
- Clear to the students at the outset of the course.
- Clear to the students at the end of the course.
- Clear to the instructor at the outset of the course.
- Clear to the instructor at he end of the course.
My understanding is that they mean the answer to apply at the outset of the course, so it is numbers 1 and 3 that hold. But if you think about it a little more, that is problematic. To illustrate why, here are some snips from my students last fall, writing their ultimate blog post. This was to talk about what they got out of the course, what issues they had with the course, and any suggested changes they'd make in a subsequent offering of the course.
One student started out his post with:
This was an interesting course for me to take because so much of what we learned wasn't something I had ever pondered. From transfer prices to transaction costs to the art of bargaining we covered things we see in everyday life but don't really notice. The economics of organizations are more intricate then I imagined, and I realized more than ever that economics is not always based on numbers - instead based on everyday interaction between something like the two separate branches of a company.
Another student followed up her first paragraph with:
To get down to it, this course was truly a breath of fresh air. Up until this point in my economics career at the U of I, many of the core courses- while rich in theory- had not necessarily tapped into economics on a scale of reality in tune with 20-something college students. Your personal insight into your experiences in management offer no only fascinating but tangible examples of organizational economics in action. The marriage of theory and "teaching-by-experience" was rather enlightening. In addition blogging about concepts in organizational economics as it applied in our own experiences was an approach to economics I had never considered. Understanding and applying moral hazard, triangular principal-agent relationship, and reputation in the context of my own life has been a miniature introspective journey, and has taught me to consider economics in an entirely different light.
If learning is the act of acquiring knowledge then prior to that acquisition there is ignorance. While in an ignorant state, how can the goals of what will be learned be clear? Shouldn't those goals be opaque?
You might say that's fine for the student but the instructor who knows his stuff surely has clear goals for the course. Here, I think it is useful to take a page from Made to Stick. The job of the presenter is not to present the ideas in the presentation. The job of the presenter is to create connections between what the audience already knows with the ideas in the presentation. At the outset of the course, the instructor is ignorant of what students already know. Further, if you return to the paragraph from the second student, if the instructor attempts to bring in relevant experience the student has had prior to taking the course, the instructor is also ignorant of that experience at the outset.
Hindsight is 20-20. Foresight is never that good.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Devotion
If my dad were still alive, today would be his 100th birthday. He's only a tertiary character in this post. Given that my mom passed away last December, that's appropriate. I'm sorry the post is so long. I needed to get all of it out of my system. A pdf version is available and might be preferred owing to the length.
* * * * *
A vexing time in every adult's life is when the relationship with the parents flip. While when growing up the child was dependent on the parent, once the relationship has flipped the dependency goes the other way. The parents remain adults, but their ability to fend for themselves has lessened enough that they need help. The vexing part is about how much the child imposes his view on what's good for the parents versus how much the child simply provides human grease to the machine the parents have erected, thereby letting the parents exert more overt control.
My experience is that this flipping can be quite gradual and therefore may seem a natural passing of responsibility, so flipping might not be the best word to describe what's going on, but let me stick with the term given the caveat, because in memory long periods of time can appear as moments.
With my dad, who had the more severe type of diabetes, he had to depend on others his entire adult life. This was especially true when he "got into trouble" because of low blood sugar. At that point he did not have enough self-preservation instinct in him to rectify the problem on his own. He needed a glass of orange juice, immediately, then something starchy to eat. He would sweat through his clothes during the incident and would need to towel off and change into something else that was dry. The experience would be exhausting so after he was getting back to normal he needed to be helped upstairs and into bed for a nap.
When we were young this burden to care for my dad during an insulin reaction fell on my mom. It's quite a heavy burden to carry, having someone else's life in your own hands. It's natural to want to avoid these experiences, if at all possible, the ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure an idea anyone who cares for a diabetic will understand implicitly. It is also natural to feel a sense of panic when the situation happens. It's a Darwinian moment. My mom, who was prone to be commandant-like even in other circumstances, would bark to my dad ahead of time about eating enough and then sometimes during the episode, when he was slow to drink the juice or eat the cookie. Nobody likes to be barked at. Having that a repetitive experience over a lifetime can make a person feel like a prisoner in jail. I'm sure that my dad felt that sometimes. It is remarkable that he was able to maintain a sense of joy in simple pleasures and a zest for good company from his friends and family at other times.
For my part, I learned by the time I was in high school not only to get the orange juice and the food, but also to try to maintain a calm voice in encouraging him to take it. This was probably my first experience with entirely surrendering my own needs to the necessity of the moment. I can't say that I liked doing it. Once or twice I barked at my dad, out of the same frustration my mom felt. It's my brother who became the doctor. But I did come to understand the need. Sometimes the immediate situation trumps all other considerations.
Some years later it fell onto me to be the family chauffeur, when I was around. I'm not sure how old I was when that happened. But I do know that by the time I started graduate school my dad was sixty three. When I would come home to visit, my mom and dad would pick me up at LaGuardia but then when we'd drive back home it would be me at the wheel and it would be me driving the whole time I was there. This happened by mutual consent. Apart from the diabetes, my dad had poor eyesight. For him driving was somewhat arduous. My mom wasn't that good at the wheel either. I had been in a car accident with her as the driver when I was younger. They trusted me to do a better job.
I know I'm not yet ready to trust my kids to drive the family around. On our recent trip to Chicago, I drove. Within a year my older son will be the same age as I was when I started graduate school. Will my confidence in his efforts to help the family rise accordingly? I don't know. I'm less than two years away from turning sixty. While in some ways I can see my own capacities diminishing, I think it will be hard for me to pass the baton.
The parent trusting the child to attend to the parent's welfare is interesting. I'm not sure from where the trust arrives, especially early on. It may have been easier for my dad this way because he had to trust people in other regards and thus got used to it. My mom also seemed ready to trust me. She was so focused on work and tennis when I started graduate school that having help with the rest of life was very welcome by her.
It's also true that I had a sense of their rhythms, as an insider, perhaps more than my kids have a sense of me. We played family tennis on the weekends growing up. Ironically, after my parents retired to Florida it was my dad who had the tennis bug, my mom disabled after her hip replacement went awry and thus unable to play, but my dad enjoying playing doubles with other residents of Century Village and socializing with them before and after.
We also played a lot of family bridge. My parents (more my mother than my father) were avid if only moderately skilled players. Many of the friends whom they had over on the weekends came to play bridge. Bridge was a big part of my parents' social life. So it's not surprising that my parents taught my brother and me. (My sister, I believe, didn't learn bridge since, 5 years my senior, there wasn't a fourth person around to play with when she was junior high school age. I was too young for that.)
Bridge is a fascinating game to an economist as it bears aspects of incomplete information and communicating privately held information via both the bidding and the play of the cards. When I came to the U of I some of my colleagues (who would soon become my very good friends) had a regular game at lunchtime. I joined right in. One of our number had been a ranked player nationally and he tutored us to raise our level. For a while my game improved steadily as I came to understand the requisite thinking in better play. There is a lot of counting to determine probabilities (or at least a sense of probability) in figuring out the play of each card, using the bidding and the prior play to aid in this determination.
I played with my mom a couple of times as her partner at the swim club in Bayside where she was a member. And then when I would visit my parents in Boca they would frequently invite a fourth, usually some widow they knew at Century Village, and we'd play then. Also, because of my training at Illinois, in some instances I was able to explain a better play of the cards than my mom made. She appreciated the insight. In this way I got closer to my mom, since with her disability bridge had become her passion.
The other big deal was the god awful number of times my mother was in the hospital. She had so many operations on her hip that I lost count. She kept on getting infections. Ultimately, she ended up with no prosthesis. Moreover, bone was removed so she wouldn't get further infection. It meant that not only couldn't she walk but she couldn't even get out of bed on her own and needed help to get into the wheelchair. During the time my mom was in the hospital, somebody needed to be with my dad. The stress of the situation was too much for him to handle on his own. I don't remember how this obligation was divided among me and my siblings. I'm sure I was aware of their trips down at the time but I have no memory of those trips now. My brother certainly did a lot to promote my parent's health over the years, but when he was in medical school and afterward doing his internship I don't believe he had as much freedom with his schedule as I did. I was in grad school at the dissertation stage for the first hip replacement, in 1979, and an assistant professor at Illinois for the next several surgeries. I could get somebody to teach a class for me or cancel the class if absolutely necessary. The time I spent doing economic research, which for me was mainly staring at graphs and equations on a yellow ruled pad and divining some truth from that, wasn't formally scheduled. The flexibility that afforded me allowed me to get to Florida when the necessity arose.
It may have been the little things that mattered more. With my mom disabled, my dad did the shopping. He was simultaneously generous and a cheapskate. When I was cleaning out their condo a few weeks ago I found in the storage bin many boxes of crayons and quite a few beach toys that he hadn't had a chance to give to the grandchildren. On the other hand, when shopping at Publix he would always buy the knock off brand, for example the type of toilet paper that makes your skin chafe. When we went out to dinner, it was always the early-bird to get the lower price. In this my parents did what was common to people of their generation, even after the poverty of the Great Depression was a distant memory. Thrift may be a virtue, especially when you are poor, but being miserly when you have the means to be otherwise is less attractive. The worst of this, and possibly idiosyncratic to my dad, was that he never ever threw out food in the refrigerator, even when it was clearly spoiled. He would cut off the mold and eat the rest. He expected me to do likewise when I visited. (And when I first brought my wife down to visit, he also expected her to do the same. She did and was a real trooper about the whole thing.)
By and large I did what he expected and what my mom expected. By the time they had moved to Florida I lived quite comfortably in Illinois. In the small things, I denied myself those comforts when I visited them, in order to fit better into my parents' world. Not to belabor the point but by surrendering myself to my parent's needs and wants the arrangement worked. It's not clear whether another approach would, but I doubt it. The one exception that I recall in my behavior when down there is that in the morning I made the coffee stronger than they liked - they could water it down to suit their tastes.
This is the tapestry on which was built my parents trust in me to care for them. The last several weeks I've been sorting through thoughts about my motivation for behaving this way. One biggie is that the visits were episodic. The return flight was booked in advance. The temporary nature of the arrangements allowed me to live in my parents' world for a short time knowing that I'd soon return to mine. Another important factor is that with my job as a faculty member at the U of I there was independence from my parents' judgments. I didn't feel threatened in these visits that they'd become the source of my mom's manipulations.
But these explanations are not sufficient. There was a bond of family that impelled these trips. Eric Hoffer wrote that the Jews (he called them the Hebrews) were the first people who put a strong emphasis on family as a unit demanding intense loyalty. We grew up as reform Jews and compared to my friends really were hardly Jewish. (For example, I didn't go to Hebrew school and I did not have a Bar Mitzvah. We did learn a bit of Yiddish, Jewish history, and some folk songs by attending a school on Saturdays.) Somehow even in this lax environment the Ten Commandments were learned in a deep way and became a guide to life.
The word honor is not one I use very often, though in its use I prefer the verb to the noun, as that way the revered person is someone else. Seeking honor in oneself, as the defendants did in A Few Good Men, runs the risk of taking oneself too seriously. I prefer to talk about obligation and use that word instead. Being a member of a family imposes obligations on each member to care for the other members. In the context of family, love and obligation are inextricably tied.
As a kid there were obligations imposed from without that sometimes I resented. I didn't always make my bed and was sloppy in keeping my room. (Some things don't change as we mature.) The education that I'm talking about transfers the important obligations to make them come from within as an adult. There is no resentment, for if there were it wouldn't feel like an obligation, but instead an option with both an upside and a downside. There may be minor irritants but they are nowhere near enough to tip the balance toward non fulfillment. It's quite the contrary, in fact. One feels in tune with oneself in doing what has to be done. (Here I'm mostly thinking about making those trips to Florida, when it was necessary. In contrast, I had a mild phobia for paying my mom's bills. I don't know why but I'd procrastinate doing that and then feel guilty about it afterward.)
There is still judgment needed to define more sharply what is necessary. I found this especially true after my mom had developed a dementia so severe that she couldn't recognize me visually nor say my name. I did go to her Condo once or twice a year. When there was a conference in Orlando in the fall that I was attending (there usually was in those years) I'd visit my mom on the trip and then in the spring I came down to "do her taxes," though that was more excuse than anything else as I easily could have done the taxes from Illinois. But mostly I didn't stay close to her during these visits, hold her hand, or otherwise touch her in a gentle way. I found the lack of recognition too painful. So while she lay in her bed I'd sit in the living room - napping, or reading, or watching TV. It was being there but letting go at the same time.
* * * * *
This is where the story starts. The above is just prelude. The story is about Beverly, who took care of my mom after my father passed away. The title of the post refers to Beverly and what she did for Miriam (my mother). Beverly did an amazing job. But I'm getting ahead of the story here. So let's return to 1998.
The big source of family happiness that year was my parents' Golden Wedding Anniversary. There is a wonderful family picture taken outside my parents' condo to commemorate the occasion.
There was sadness too brought on when we learned my father had pancreatic cancer. He knew the end was coming and he began to ready himself and the family for it. There were several seemingly surreal experiences I witnessed at around that time, though the sequencing of these I don't remember. One I recall was when I took my dad to Boca Raton Community Hospital for some sort of physical examination and stayed with him in the examination room while the nurse did what she had to do. During the entire time my dad sang an Irish folk song, one I hadn't heard before. Even if he was going out of this world, he was going to show anyone who cared to look that he still had some spit in him.
Another of those things that involved me was a visit with both of my parents to the lawyer who prepared the Wills and Trust documents. My dad wanted me there to understand the implications of these documents and what they meant going forward. In particular, the Trust meant there was no need to probate his Will. In conjunction with this my dad wanted me to manage the various accounts and pay the bills that would come in. My mom never had concerned herself with the finances, so that obligation became mine instead of hers.
My dad wanted to stay in his own place and not move to an assisted living facility. He wanted the same for my mom after he was gone. I learned at that time that Medicare is sympathetic to such wishes. My dad started to get visits twice a day from RNs who would check on his welfare and possibly suggest modifications in his treatment. (He was on oxygen. I don't remember the rest of what they were doing for him.) Though it was not their official responsibility, they also tended to my mom. If the patient's primary concern is the spouse then the spouse's welfare matters as well to those attending to the patient.
I don't recall exactly when but soon my dad needed somebody to be with him during the day, when the RNs weren't there. Beverly was that person. It is how she came into our lives. As we were cleaning out the condo together, Beverly told me a story about Sidney (my dad) near end of life. He wasn't supposed to have alcohol, but he wanted a drink. So he sneaked his way toward the cabinet where the booze was. But he couldn't make it all the way and collapsed. He didn't know that Beverly was watching him the whole time. She caught him before he fell to the ground.
One of the RNs was named Bernadette, an Irish woman. I suppose all health care professionals have compassion for the people they tend to, especially people in my father's situation, but even with that I recall Bernadette as very caring. The other RN had blonde hair and eventually started to interact with my parents on a social basis. I believe I met her entire family at some point and may have gone out to dinner with them. There was a picture of her with her son among the family photos. I can't remember her name now. But I do know that at the visitation after the funeral for my dad she told me that Miriam probably wouldn't live more than another year or two. When one spouse goes, the surviving spouse often loses a sense of purpose. Further, as I learned by watching both my parents and my wife's parents, a co-dependency evolves between them as they age, where they can get along all right together but when one spouse goes those complementary functions are no longer present and the situation can become overwhelming for the surviving spouse. I have not otherwise read on this issue to know if it is statistically valid for people my mom's age at the time of my dad's passing. (She would be 79 later that summer.) In the absence of that information, I took what the nurse told me as the conventional wisdom.
It took two people to get my mom out of bed and into the wheelchair and likewise to get her from the wheelchair into her recliner in the living room. Those facts and my dad's desire that my mom stay in the condo determined the model my brother came up with for my mom's care. She would have two attendants, one a live-in, the other a day person. During the day my mother could be out of bed. During the night the live-in could handle emergencies as they arose but if my mother was sleeping peacefully or reading or watching TV in bed, then the live-in could go about her own business. Over the rest of my mom's life we had two live-ins. Beverly was the day person the entire time. (She had Sunday's off and there was a substitute then and when she went on vacation.)
This was a very expensive solution and therefore was quite unusual. (My brother told me quite recently that the agency said we were the only family to have such an arrangement.) So in what I have to say that follows I suspect much doesn't generalize to other long term care situations. But I believe some of it does.
There was a sizable estate at the time my dad passed. Given the expense of my mom's care and knowing what Social Security and pension income my mom had, I did a quick calculation on how long the estate would last. I guesstimated 10 years. (It turned out to last 11 years.) My mom outlived the estate by a couple of years, which based on what I've said above was a huge outlier compared to the expectation at the time my dad passed. The main reason for this, without question, was Beverly's personal commitment to my mom's welfare.
Sometime during my career as a campus administrator I developed a slogan that has stayed with me. "Anybody can be a hero in a sprint. Nobody is a hero in a marathon." The situation with my dad after the cancer diagnosis was a sprint. In addition to the excellent health care he received, my siblings and I put in yeoman's effort to tend to both parents' needs. Though we didn't know it would be at the time, the situation with my mom after my dad passed proved to be a marathon.
When the parents retire and permanently move south with the kids remaining up north, having their own careers and families, what obligation is imposed on the kids when there is only the one surviving parent left? Is it reasonable to expect that the parent will receive excellent care, so that the kids aren't needed to micromanage the care the vast majority of the time? This is another one I've been scratching my head about. Were we simply lucky to have found Beverly or given how much we were paying isn't it reasonable to anticipate somebody like her to materialize in this circumstance?
Sometimes when you have imponderables like these you look to culture (movies in my case) in search of answers. So, after a fashion, I started to think about Driving Miss Daisy and whether there were any lessons I could learn from it. For the longest time it seemed that there weren't. For one thing the son, Boolie, lived in the same town and could come over to his mom's house on a daily basis if he wanted to. He also directly contracted with Hoke, the driver. In our case Beverly was employed by an agency who supplied all the help and the terms were set by the agency. But that part is mechanical and therefore not the right place to look. Two other things were more important and they too didn't seem to connect to my mom's situation. One was that Miss Daisy had an air of dignity in her manner that my mom didn't possess at all, though they both had been school teachers. The other is that the relationship between Miss Daisy and Hoke had a reciprocal aspect to it. He couldn't read the newspaper. She taught him how. The reciprocation became the basis of their friendship. Near the end of the movie when Hoke visits Miss Daisy in the retirement home, she is able to say to Hoke with utter sincerity that he is her best friend. There was no reciprocity in this respect between Miriam and Beverly. (Maybe, unbeknownst to be me, my mom taught Beverly how to play bridge. That would have been something of a parallel. But I doubt it happened.)
Then a couple of things occurred to me that made the movie more relevant to shed light on my mom's relationship with Beverly. My mom was a survivor of the Holocaust. That fact is enough in itself to convey a sense of dignity about Miriam, quite independent of her decorum when she was under Beverly's care. Beverly got a regular reminder of this. Miriam received a pension from Germany and another from Austria as a personal sort of reparation for what she endured while growing up. The Pension Authorities in both cases requested an annual confirmation that my mother was still alive. This required her signature and it had to be notarized. For two or three years there was somebody living next door who was a notary and my mom had her wits about her then. So it wasn't that big a deal to comply. Afterward those circumstances changed, but Beverly was still able to get the forms signed and completed in an acceptable manner. I don't know how it was accomplished, but she did it.
The other thing is that I realized when the parent can't reciprocate with the care provider, as often will be the case, then the child must do so in some way. Overt reciprocation, as in Miss Daisy teaching Hoke to read, may not be possible. But some sharing in the responsibilities of managing condo life and some expression of love for the parent provide demonstration to the care giver that her efforts are greatly appreciated. These are the behaviors that become obligations and what the movie helped me understand is that these behaviors have more impact than their immediate consequence. Because of the distance and that serious issues with the parent or the apartment come up only from time to time, there are ebbs and flows to this sort of demonstration. I am not a good phone person. Maybe phone contact can offer greater continuity in keeping this triangle working effectively. I don't know. It might even be that there is some benefit in less frequent communication, as it conveys more control and responsibility on the care provider.
In the course I've been teaching recently, The Economics of Organizations, we begin with a critical question. Where are decisions made, at the center or at the edge? It is customary to frame this from a military perspective, command and control versus boots on the ground. The issue is about where the information is and how much time it takes to communicate the information in an effective way. There is local information at the edge that the center does not possess. Sometimes this information demands immediate action. Getting the information to the center so an authoritative decision can be made might seem the deferential way but it can cause too much delay and thus lead to a bad consequence. For this reason, economists have a bias in favor of decentralized decision making as the way to attain maximal efficiency. But for that to be correct, the decision maker at the edge has to be both intelligent and responsible.
There is a bit more to it. One should ask, responsible to what end? Are the organization goals imprinted in the decision maker's psyche in such a way that the choices made at the edge are in accord with what the center would do if it had the requisite information? There are two different reasons why the answer to this question might be no. One is selfishness and looking out primarily for number one and only secondarily considering organization welfare. The other, not entirely distinct from the first but sufficiently different to warrant its own mention, is that people with decision making power like to give their own definition to the goals the organization should be pursuing. I call this issue - everyone wants to drive the bus.
Most people that I know via my work life at the U of I and the colleagues I have met nationally via this work find self-expression and personal commitment in their work and their immediate family. These are people with a lot of drive and talent. Given these personal capacities, there is a question of whether they find the work or the work finds them. I suspect it is a bit of both. When I was in the hospital for five days last fall I met a different sort of person in the nurses and technicians. These people seemed motivated a great deal by a need to serve with less of an apparent need for self-expression. The hospital is a highly regulated environment with lots of procedures in place. Almost all of these people follow the procedures to a T, though they try hard to be empathetic given that constraint. I had only one nurse who exercised discretion vis-Ã -vis a bending of the rules for my benefit. She unhooked me from the IV after I had gotten the antibiotic so I could get up on my own and she unhooked the leg squeezers so I could sit on the side of the bed more comfortably and with iPad on tray table pretend like I was at home in front of my PC. To her, this offering of a little sense of personal freedom to me was important, especially insofar as it didn't interfere at all with the treatment I was receiving for the infection.
I felt so strongly about this at the time - care must have some elements of discretion in it even as there are some procedures that must be followed - that I wrote a longish post in Facebook entitled Saichel, the Yiddish word for common sense. The upshot of that piece was that common sense has become an oxymoron. It is very hard to find. (The piece was also a bit of a critique of data driven decision making since, in spite of my infection, my vitals were normal the entire time I was in the hospital so there didn't appear to be much risk to my well being from the bending of the rules, which themselves were not contingent on that sort of data.) In my limited experience common sense is more likely to be found among my peers at the University than it was among the nurses and techs. In other words, it is something I expect and appreciate in the people with whom I interact, but I'm not at all confident that paying a lot for a parent's long term care is sufficient to find it in the care provider.
Let me give a simple example of the practical intelligence that Beverly possessed in abundance. My mother had a credit card. But it was Beverly who did the shopping. Beverly found a place (the pharmacy) which would let her purchase using my mother's credit card. Since Beverly was a repeat customer, they trusted her. The bill would come to me in Illinois. This was far better than paying for everything in cash so that there wasn't so much cash lying around the apartment. The arrangement worked pretty well, with the weak link in the chain my not always paying the balance in a timely fashion. (When I was busting a gut as a campus level administrator, I didn't have the mental bandwidth to always remember to pay my mom's bills, but I also have always detested to do lists, preferring my discretion instead. I usually could keep track of many things in my head but I'm forced to admit that occasionally a ball would drop. Sometimes the ball was my mom's bills. It's funny, but this ball dropping thing for me is happening more frequently recently and now I'm no longer burdened with work obligations in a comparable way.)
During the first few years after my dad had passed my mom could direct the care providers to attend to her needs. On a social level, this meant finding a bridge game at the Clubhouse in Century Village or at a place outside the development, or in helping out if my mom had a friend over for company. As my mom's mind deteriorated, people no longer wanted her as a partner in bridge. And the friend visits to the apartment became rarer and rarer. Consequently, my mom became more and more isolated. All she had were Beverly and the live-in and the occasional visit from me and my siblings. Had I been in Beverly's shoes at the time I would have become discouraged about attending to Miriam. Yet I did not see such discouragement. Instead I saw incredible diligence in providing care.
Getting my mom to drink the Ensure or swallow her pills became a major ordeal. I talked about my dad lacking a self-preservation instinct when he was having an insulin reaction, a temporary situation that would be rectified as his blood sugar returned to normal. With dementia, apparently the self-preservation instinct lessens permanently. My mom didn't have immediate threats to her health like my dad did. But her skin would bruise very easily - there was an awful looking blue color over much of her arms and legs - and she was prone to develop skin cancers. Beverly carefully monitored developments with these and arranged for doctor visits as the situation appeared to warrant it so an appropriate treatment could be applied. It was a real schlep to get my mom to the doctor. A wheelchair capable ambulance was needed. But that did not deter Beverly from making sure the doctor would see my mom and the follow up care given to my mom consistently.
Beverly is quite religious. In other contexts I'm somewhat anti very religious people, as the religion seems to become rigid doctrine that blocks human feeling and good judgment. Among such people, religion also seems capable of breeding extreme prejudice of those outside the religion. Yet as Nicholas Kristof has pointed out repeatedly, some very religious people are capable of extraordinary acts of kindness to others outside their own families who are in need. Their religious belief imposes an obligation to serve others and because their belief is intense their personal commitment to this service is strong. When this sort of intensity is coupled with a practical intelligence, it produces wonderful results. I admire Beverly for that and am extremely grateful that she cared for my mom all these years.
Let me close with one other point. It's about the economics of the system of long term care. There is similar economics with daycare for young children. When my kids were very little, my wife and I served on the Board for the daycare my kids attended. From that experience I learned the teachers were paid quite near to minimum wage; yet from a parent's perspective they had a huge responsibility. It didn't seem right. The teachers themselves almost certainly amplified their incomes by babysitting some evenings. I don't know if this was the norm, but my wife and I paid babysitters much above minimum wage, to show our appreciation for the good work that was being done. It made sense all around.
Those providing long term care also are paid at a very low rate. They work long hours, all under contract. There really is no time for moonlighting if fully employed as a long term care provider. Do such people earn enough to lead a decent life when they are not at work?
Let me add to this question the observation that much long term care is provided in those states hurt most by the burst of the housing bubble. Indeed, from an economics perspective it is fairly straightforward to create a linkage between the two, as the migration of seniors from the North to the South provided one of the underlying drivers for the rise in housing prices that fed the bubble and, of course, some chunk of those seniors will need long term care. There is an Op-Ed piece in today's NY Times which suggests that Florida, for one, will suffer such market vicissitudes for the indefinite future. Even as the stock market has rebounded so that the financial assets of many retirees are in reasonably good shape, the system doesn't seem well designed to protect the long term care provider's welfare.
There is thus the question whether the system should change to better do this or, if not, whether individual adult children should feel it part of their responsibility to somehow address the concern. If other adult children have witnessed the same high caliber long term care that Beverly provided, then they too might start inquiring about the issue. It's time to talk about it.
* * * * *
A vexing time in every adult's life is when the relationship with the parents flip. While when growing up the child was dependent on the parent, once the relationship has flipped the dependency goes the other way. The parents remain adults, but their ability to fend for themselves has lessened enough that they need help. The vexing part is about how much the child imposes his view on what's good for the parents versus how much the child simply provides human grease to the machine the parents have erected, thereby letting the parents exert more overt control.
My experience is that this flipping can be quite gradual and therefore may seem a natural passing of responsibility, so flipping might not be the best word to describe what's going on, but let me stick with the term given the caveat, because in memory long periods of time can appear as moments.
With my dad, who had the more severe type of diabetes, he had to depend on others his entire adult life. This was especially true when he "got into trouble" because of low blood sugar. At that point he did not have enough self-preservation instinct in him to rectify the problem on his own. He needed a glass of orange juice, immediately, then something starchy to eat. He would sweat through his clothes during the incident and would need to towel off and change into something else that was dry. The experience would be exhausting so after he was getting back to normal he needed to be helped upstairs and into bed for a nap.
When we were young this burden to care for my dad during an insulin reaction fell on my mom. It's quite a heavy burden to carry, having someone else's life in your own hands. It's natural to want to avoid these experiences, if at all possible, the ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure an idea anyone who cares for a diabetic will understand implicitly. It is also natural to feel a sense of panic when the situation happens. It's a Darwinian moment. My mom, who was prone to be commandant-like even in other circumstances, would bark to my dad ahead of time about eating enough and then sometimes during the episode, when he was slow to drink the juice or eat the cookie. Nobody likes to be barked at. Having that a repetitive experience over a lifetime can make a person feel like a prisoner in jail. I'm sure that my dad felt that sometimes. It is remarkable that he was able to maintain a sense of joy in simple pleasures and a zest for good company from his friends and family at other times.
For my part, I learned by the time I was in high school not only to get the orange juice and the food, but also to try to maintain a calm voice in encouraging him to take it. This was probably my first experience with entirely surrendering my own needs to the necessity of the moment. I can't say that I liked doing it. Once or twice I barked at my dad, out of the same frustration my mom felt. It's my brother who became the doctor. But I did come to understand the need. Sometimes the immediate situation trumps all other considerations.
Some years later it fell onto me to be the family chauffeur, when I was around. I'm not sure how old I was when that happened. But I do know that by the time I started graduate school my dad was sixty three. When I would come home to visit, my mom and dad would pick me up at LaGuardia but then when we'd drive back home it would be me at the wheel and it would be me driving the whole time I was there. This happened by mutual consent. Apart from the diabetes, my dad had poor eyesight. For him driving was somewhat arduous. My mom wasn't that good at the wheel either. I had been in a car accident with her as the driver when I was younger. They trusted me to do a better job.
I know I'm not yet ready to trust my kids to drive the family around. On our recent trip to Chicago, I drove. Within a year my older son will be the same age as I was when I started graduate school. Will my confidence in his efforts to help the family rise accordingly? I don't know. I'm less than two years away from turning sixty. While in some ways I can see my own capacities diminishing, I think it will be hard for me to pass the baton.
The parent trusting the child to attend to the parent's welfare is interesting. I'm not sure from where the trust arrives, especially early on. It may have been easier for my dad this way because he had to trust people in other regards and thus got used to it. My mom also seemed ready to trust me. She was so focused on work and tennis when I started graduate school that having help with the rest of life was very welcome by her.
It's also true that I had a sense of their rhythms, as an insider, perhaps more than my kids have a sense of me. We played family tennis on the weekends growing up. Ironically, after my parents retired to Florida it was my dad who had the tennis bug, my mom disabled after her hip replacement went awry and thus unable to play, but my dad enjoying playing doubles with other residents of Century Village and socializing with them before and after.
We also played a lot of family bridge. My parents (more my mother than my father) were avid if only moderately skilled players. Many of the friends whom they had over on the weekends came to play bridge. Bridge was a big part of my parents' social life. So it's not surprising that my parents taught my brother and me. (My sister, I believe, didn't learn bridge since, 5 years my senior, there wasn't a fourth person around to play with when she was junior high school age. I was too young for that.)
Bridge is a fascinating game to an economist as it bears aspects of incomplete information and communicating privately held information via both the bidding and the play of the cards. When I came to the U of I some of my colleagues (who would soon become my very good friends) had a regular game at lunchtime. I joined right in. One of our number had been a ranked player nationally and he tutored us to raise our level. For a while my game improved steadily as I came to understand the requisite thinking in better play. There is a lot of counting to determine probabilities (or at least a sense of probability) in figuring out the play of each card, using the bidding and the prior play to aid in this determination.
I played with my mom a couple of times as her partner at the swim club in Bayside where she was a member. And then when I would visit my parents in Boca they would frequently invite a fourth, usually some widow they knew at Century Village, and we'd play then. Also, because of my training at Illinois, in some instances I was able to explain a better play of the cards than my mom made. She appreciated the insight. In this way I got closer to my mom, since with her disability bridge had become her passion.
The other big deal was the god awful number of times my mother was in the hospital. She had so many operations on her hip that I lost count. She kept on getting infections. Ultimately, she ended up with no prosthesis. Moreover, bone was removed so she wouldn't get further infection. It meant that not only couldn't she walk but she couldn't even get out of bed on her own and needed help to get into the wheelchair. During the time my mom was in the hospital, somebody needed to be with my dad. The stress of the situation was too much for him to handle on his own. I don't remember how this obligation was divided among me and my siblings. I'm sure I was aware of their trips down at the time but I have no memory of those trips now. My brother certainly did a lot to promote my parent's health over the years, but when he was in medical school and afterward doing his internship I don't believe he had as much freedom with his schedule as I did. I was in grad school at the dissertation stage for the first hip replacement, in 1979, and an assistant professor at Illinois for the next several surgeries. I could get somebody to teach a class for me or cancel the class if absolutely necessary. The time I spent doing economic research, which for me was mainly staring at graphs and equations on a yellow ruled pad and divining some truth from that, wasn't formally scheduled. The flexibility that afforded me allowed me to get to Florida when the necessity arose.
It may have been the little things that mattered more. With my mom disabled, my dad did the shopping. He was simultaneously generous and a cheapskate. When I was cleaning out their condo a few weeks ago I found in the storage bin many boxes of crayons and quite a few beach toys that he hadn't had a chance to give to the grandchildren. On the other hand, when shopping at Publix he would always buy the knock off brand, for example the type of toilet paper that makes your skin chafe. When we went out to dinner, it was always the early-bird to get the lower price. In this my parents did what was common to people of their generation, even after the poverty of the Great Depression was a distant memory. Thrift may be a virtue, especially when you are poor, but being miserly when you have the means to be otherwise is less attractive. The worst of this, and possibly idiosyncratic to my dad, was that he never ever threw out food in the refrigerator, even when it was clearly spoiled. He would cut off the mold and eat the rest. He expected me to do likewise when I visited. (And when I first brought my wife down to visit, he also expected her to do the same. She did and was a real trooper about the whole thing.)
By and large I did what he expected and what my mom expected. By the time they had moved to Florida I lived quite comfortably in Illinois. In the small things, I denied myself those comforts when I visited them, in order to fit better into my parents' world. Not to belabor the point but by surrendering myself to my parent's needs and wants the arrangement worked. It's not clear whether another approach would, but I doubt it. The one exception that I recall in my behavior when down there is that in the morning I made the coffee stronger than they liked - they could water it down to suit their tastes.
This is the tapestry on which was built my parents trust in me to care for them. The last several weeks I've been sorting through thoughts about my motivation for behaving this way. One biggie is that the visits were episodic. The return flight was booked in advance. The temporary nature of the arrangements allowed me to live in my parents' world for a short time knowing that I'd soon return to mine. Another important factor is that with my job as a faculty member at the U of I there was independence from my parents' judgments. I didn't feel threatened in these visits that they'd become the source of my mom's manipulations.
But these explanations are not sufficient. There was a bond of family that impelled these trips. Eric Hoffer wrote that the Jews (he called them the Hebrews) were the first people who put a strong emphasis on family as a unit demanding intense loyalty. We grew up as reform Jews and compared to my friends really were hardly Jewish. (For example, I didn't go to Hebrew school and I did not have a Bar Mitzvah. We did learn a bit of Yiddish, Jewish history, and some folk songs by attending a school on Saturdays.) Somehow even in this lax environment the Ten Commandments were learned in a deep way and became a guide to life.
Honor thy father and mother.
The word honor is not one I use very often, though in its use I prefer the verb to the noun, as that way the revered person is someone else. Seeking honor in oneself, as the defendants did in A Few Good Men, runs the risk of taking oneself too seriously. I prefer to talk about obligation and use that word instead. Being a member of a family imposes obligations on each member to care for the other members. In the context of family, love and obligation are inextricably tied.
As a kid there were obligations imposed from without that sometimes I resented. I didn't always make my bed and was sloppy in keeping my room. (Some things don't change as we mature.) The education that I'm talking about transfers the important obligations to make them come from within as an adult. There is no resentment, for if there were it wouldn't feel like an obligation, but instead an option with both an upside and a downside. There may be minor irritants but they are nowhere near enough to tip the balance toward non fulfillment. It's quite the contrary, in fact. One feels in tune with oneself in doing what has to be done. (Here I'm mostly thinking about making those trips to Florida, when it was necessary. In contrast, I had a mild phobia for paying my mom's bills. I don't know why but I'd procrastinate doing that and then feel guilty about it afterward.)
There is still judgment needed to define more sharply what is necessary. I found this especially true after my mom had developed a dementia so severe that she couldn't recognize me visually nor say my name. I did go to her Condo once or twice a year. When there was a conference in Orlando in the fall that I was attending (there usually was in those years) I'd visit my mom on the trip and then in the spring I came down to "do her taxes," though that was more excuse than anything else as I easily could have done the taxes from Illinois. But mostly I didn't stay close to her during these visits, hold her hand, or otherwise touch her in a gentle way. I found the lack of recognition too painful. So while she lay in her bed I'd sit in the living room - napping, or reading, or watching TV. It was being there but letting go at the same time.
* * * * *
This is where the story starts. The above is just prelude. The story is about Beverly, who took care of my mom after my father passed away. The title of the post refers to Beverly and what she did for Miriam (my mother). Beverly did an amazing job. But I'm getting ahead of the story here. So let's return to 1998.
The big source of family happiness that year was my parents' Golden Wedding Anniversary. There is a wonderful family picture taken outside my parents' condo to commemorate the occasion.
There was sadness too brought on when we learned my father had pancreatic cancer. He knew the end was coming and he began to ready himself and the family for it. There were several seemingly surreal experiences I witnessed at around that time, though the sequencing of these I don't remember. One I recall was when I took my dad to Boca Raton Community Hospital for some sort of physical examination and stayed with him in the examination room while the nurse did what she had to do. During the entire time my dad sang an Irish folk song, one I hadn't heard before. Even if he was going out of this world, he was going to show anyone who cared to look that he still had some spit in him.
Another of those things that involved me was a visit with both of my parents to the lawyer who prepared the Wills and Trust documents. My dad wanted me there to understand the implications of these documents and what they meant going forward. In particular, the Trust meant there was no need to probate his Will. In conjunction with this my dad wanted me to manage the various accounts and pay the bills that would come in. My mom never had concerned herself with the finances, so that obligation became mine instead of hers.
My dad wanted to stay in his own place and not move to an assisted living facility. He wanted the same for my mom after he was gone. I learned at that time that Medicare is sympathetic to such wishes. My dad started to get visits twice a day from RNs who would check on his welfare and possibly suggest modifications in his treatment. (He was on oxygen. I don't remember the rest of what they were doing for him.) Though it was not their official responsibility, they also tended to my mom. If the patient's primary concern is the spouse then the spouse's welfare matters as well to those attending to the patient.
I don't recall exactly when but soon my dad needed somebody to be with him during the day, when the RNs weren't there. Beverly was that person. It is how she came into our lives. As we were cleaning out the condo together, Beverly told me a story about Sidney (my dad) near end of life. He wasn't supposed to have alcohol, but he wanted a drink. So he sneaked his way toward the cabinet where the booze was. But he couldn't make it all the way and collapsed. He didn't know that Beverly was watching him the whole time. She caught him before he fell to the ground.
One of the RNs was named Bernadette, an Irish woman. I suppose all health care professionals have compassion for the people they tend to, especially people in my father's situation, but even with that I recall Bernadette as very caring. The other RN had blonde hair and eventually started to interact with my parents on a social basis. I believe I met her entire family at some point and may have gone out to dinner with them. There was a picture of her with her son among the family photos. I can't remember her name now. But I do know that at the visitation after the funeral for my dad she told me that Miriam probably wouldn't live more than another year or two. When one spouse goes, the surviving spouse often loses a sense of purpose. Further, as I learned by watching both my parents and my wife's parents, a co-dependency evolves between them as they age, where they can get along all right together but when one spouse goes those complementary functions are no longer present and the situation can become overwhelming for the surviving spouse. I have not otherwise read on this issue to know if it is statistically valid for people my mom's age at the time of my dad's passing. (She would be 79 later that summer.) In the absence of that information, I took what the nurse told me as the conventional wisdom.
It took two people to get my mom out of bed and into the wheelchair and likewise to get her from the wheelchair into her recliner in the living room. Those facts and my dad's desire that my mom stay in the condo determined the model my brother came up with for my mom's care. She would have two attendants, one a live-in, the other a day person. During the day my mother could be out of bed. During the night the live-in could handle emergencies as they arose but if my mother was sleeping peacefully or reading or watching TV in bed, then the live-in could go about her own business. Over the rest of my mom's life we had two live-ins. Beverly was the day person the entire time. (She had Sunday's off and there was a substitute then and when she went on vacation.)
This was a very expensive solution and therefore was quite unusual. (My brother told me quite recently that the agency said we were the only family to have such an arrangement.) So in what I have to say that follows I suspect much doesn't generalize to other long term care situations. But I believe some of it does.
There was a sizable estate at the time my dad passed. Given the expense of my mom's care and knowing what Social Security and pension income my mom had, I did a quick calculation on how long the estate would last. I guesstimated 10 years. (It turned out to last 11 years.) My mom outlived the estate by a couple of years, which based on what I've said above was a huge outlier compared to the expectation at the time my dad passed. The main reason for this, without question, was Beverly's personal commitment to my mom's welfare.
Sometime during my career as a campus administrator I developed a slogan that has stayed with me. "Anybody can be a hero in a sprint. Nobody is a hero in a marathon." The situation with my dad after the cancer diagnosis was a sprint. In addition to the excellent health care he received, my siblings and I put in yeoman's effort to tend to both parents' needs. Though we didn't know it would be at the time, the situation with my mom after my dad passed proved to be a marathon.
When the parents retire and permanently move south with the kids remaining up north, having their own careers and families, what obligation is imposed on the kids when there is only the one surviving parent left? Is it reasonable to expect that the parent will receive excellent care, so that the kids aren't needed to micromanage the care the vast majority of the time? This is another one I've been scratching my head about. Were we simply lucky to have found Beverly or given how much we were paying isn't it reasonable to anticipate somebody like her to materialize in this circumstance?
Sometimes when you have imponderables like these you look to culture (movies in my case) in search of answers. So, after a fashion, I started to think about Driving Miss Daisy and whether there were any lessons I could learn from it. For the longest time it seemed that there weren't. For one thing the son, Boolie, lived in the same town and could come over to his mom's house on a daily basis if he wanted to. He also directly contracted with Hoke, the driver. In our case Beverly was employed by an agency who supplied all the help and the terms were set by the agency. But that part is mechanical and therefore not the right place to look. Two other things were more important and they too didn't seem to connect to my mom's situation. One was that Miss Daisy had an air of dignity in her manner that my mom didn't possess at all, though they both had been school teachers. The other is that the relationship between Miss Daisy and Hoke had a reciprocal aspect to it. He couldn't read the newspaper. She taught him how. The reciprocation became the basis of their friendship. Near the end of the movie when Hoke visits Miss Daisy in the retirement home, she is able to say to Hoke with utter sincerity that he is her best friend. There was no reciprocity in this respect between Miriam and Beverly. (Maybe, unbeknownst to be me, my mom taught Beverly how to play bridge. That would have been something of a parallel. But I doubt it happened.)
Then a couple of things occurred to me that made the movie more relevant to shed light on my mom's relationship with Beverly. My mom was a survivor of the Holocaust. That fact is enough in itself to convey a sense of dignity about Miriam, quite independent of her decorum when she was under Beverly's care. Beverly got a regular reminder of this. Miriam received a pension from Germany and another from Austria as a personal sort of reparation for what she endured while growing up. The Pension Authorities in both cases requested an annual confirmation that my mother was still alive. This required her signature and it had to be notarized. For two or three years there was somebody living next door who was a notary and my mom had her wits about her then. So it wasn't that big a deal to comply. Afterward those circumstances changed, but Beverly was still able to get the forms signed and completed in an acceptable manner. I don't know how it was accomplished, but she did it.
The other thing is that I realized when the parent can't reciprocate with the care provider, as often will be the case, then the child must do so in some way. Overt reciprocation, as in Miss Daisy teaching Hoke to read, may not be possible. But some sharing in the responsibilities of managing condo life and some expression of love for the parent provide demonstration to the care giver that her efforts are greatly appreciated. These are the behaviors that become obligations and what the movie helped me understand is that these behaviors have more impact than their immediate consequence. Because of the distance and that serious issues with the parent or the apartment come up only from time to time, there are ebbs and flows to this sort of demonstration. I am not a good phone person. Maybe phone contact can offer greater continuity in keeping this triangle working effectively. I don't know. It might even be that there is some benefit in less frequent communication, as it conveys more control and responsibility on the care provider.
In the course I've been teaching recently, The Economics of Organizations, we begin with a critical question. Where are decisions made, at the center or at the edge? It is customary to frame this from a military perspective, command and control versus boots on the ground. The issue is about where the information is and how much time it takes to communicate the information in an effective way. There is local information at the edge that the center does not possess. Sometimes this information demands immediate action. Getting the information to the center so an authoritative decision can be made might seem the deferential way but it can cause too much delay and thus lead to a bad consequence. For this reason, economists have a bias in favor of decentralized decision making as the way to attain maximal efficiency. But for that to be correct, the decision maker at the edge has to be both intelligent and responsible.
There is a bit more to it. One should ask, responsible to what end? Are the organization goals imprinted in the decision maker's psyche in such a way that the choices made at the edge are in accord with what the center would do if it had the requisite information? There are two different reasons why the answer to this question might be no. One is selfishness and looking out primarily for number one and only secondarily considering organization welfare. The other, not entirely distinct from the first but sufficiently different to warrant its own mention, is that people with decision making power like to give their own definition to the goals the organization should be pursuing. I call this issue - everyone wants to drive the bus.
Most people that I know via my work life at the U of I and the colleagues I have met nationally via this work find self-expression and personal commitment in their work and their immediate family. These are people with a lot of drive and talent. Given these personal capacities, there is a question of whether they find the work or the work finds them. I suspect it is a bit of both. When I was in the hospital for five days last fall I met a different sort of person in the nurses and technicians. These people seemed motivated a great deal by a need to serve with less of an apparent need for self-expression. The hospital is a highly regulated environment with lots of procedures in place. Almost all of these people follow the procedures to a T, though they try hard to be empathetic given that constraint. I had only one nurse who exercised discretion vis-Ã -vis a bending of the rules for my benefit. She unhooked me from the IV after I had gotten the antibiotic so I could get up on my own and she unhooked the leg squeezers so I could sit on the side of the bed more comfortably and with iPad on tray table pretend like I was at home in front of my PC. To her, this offering of a little sense of personal freedom to me was important, especially insofar as it didn't interfere at all with the treatment I was receiving for the infection.
I felt so strongly about this at the time - care must have some elements of discretion in it even as there are some procedures that must be followed - that I wrote a longish post in Facebook entitled Saichel, the Yiddish word for common sense. The upshot of that piece was that common sense has become an oxymoron. It is very hard to find. (The piece was also a bit of a critique of data driven decision making since, in spite of my infection, my vitals were normal the entire time I was in the hospital so there didn't appear to be much risk to my well being from the bending of the rules, which themselves were not contingent on that sort of data.) In my limited experience common sense is more likely to be found among my peers at the University than it was among the nurses and techs. In other words, it is something I expect and appreciate in the people with whom I interact, but I'm not at all confident that paying a lot for a parent's long term care is sufficient to find it in the care provider.
Let me give a simple example of the practical intelligence that Beverly possessed in abundance. My mother had a credit card. But it was Beverly who did the shopping. Beverly found a place (the pharmacy) which would let her purchase using my mother's credit card. Since Beverly was a repeat customer, they trusted her. The bill would come to me in Illinois. This was far better than paying for everything in cash so that there wasn't so much cash lying around the apartment. The arrangement worked pretty well, with the weak link in the chain my not always paying the balance in a timely fashion. (When I was busting a gut as a campus level administrator, I didn't have the mental bandwidth to always remember to pay my mom's bills, but I also have always detested to do lists, preferring my discretion instead. I usually could keep track of many things in my head but I'm forced to admit that occasionally a ball would drop. Sometimes the ball was my mom's bills. It's funny, but this ball dropping thing for me is happening more frequently recently and now I'm no longer burdened with work obligations in a comparable way.)
During the first few years after my dad had passed my mom could direct the care providers to attend to her needs. On a social level, this meant finding a bridge game at the Clubhouse in Century Village or at a place outside the development, or in helping out if my mom had a friend over for company. As my mom's mind deteriorated, people no longer wanted her as a partner in bridge. And the friend visits to the apartment became rarer and rarer. Consequently, my mom became more and more isolated. All she had were Beverly and the live-in and the occasional visit from me and my siblings. Had I been in Beverly's shoes at the time I would have become discouraged about attending to Miriam. Yet I did not see such discouragement. Instead I saw incredible diligence in providing care.
Getting my mom to drink the Ensure or swallow her pills became a major ordeal. I talked about my dad lacking a self-preservation instinct when he was having an insulin reaction, a temporary situation that would be rectified as his blood sugar returned to normal. With dementia, apparently the self-preservation instinct lessens permanently. My mom didn't have immediate threats to her health like my dad did. But her skin would bruise very easily - there was an awful looking blue color over much of her arms and legs - and she was prone to develop skin cancers. Beverly carefully monitored developments with these and arranged for doctor visits as the situation appeared to warrant it so an appropriate treatment could be applied. It was a real schlep to get my mom to the doctor. A wheelchair capable ambulance was needed. But that did not deter Beverly from making sure the doctor would see my mom and the follow up care given to my mom consistently.
Beverly is quite religious. In other contexts I'm somewhat anti very religious people, as the religion seems to become rigid doctrine that blocks human feeling and good judgment. Among such people, religion also seems capable of breeding extreme prejudice of those outside the religion. Yet as Nicholas Kristof has pointed out repeatedly, some very religious people are capable of extraordinary acts of kindness to others outside their own families who are in need. Their religious belief imposes an obligation to serve others and because their belief is intense their personal commitment to this service is strong. When this sort of intensity is coupled with a practical intelligence, it produces wonderful results. I admire Beverly for that and am extremely grateful that she cared for my mom all these years.
Let me close with one other point. It's about the economics of the system of long term care. There is similar economics with daycare for young children. When my kids were very little, my wife and I served on the Board for the daycare my kids attended. From that experience I learned the teachers were paid quite near to minimum wage; yet from a parent's perspective they had a huge responsibility. It didn't seem right. The teachers themselves almost certainly amplified their incomes by babysitting some evenings. I don't know if this was the norm, but my wife and I paid babysitters much above minimum wage, to show our appreciation for the good work that was being done. It made sense all around.
Those providing long term care also are paid at a very low rate. They work long hours, all under contract. There really is no time for moonlighting if fully employed as a long term care provider. Do such people earn enough to lead a decent life when they are not at work?
Let me add to this question the observation that much long term care is provided in those states hurt most by the burst of the housing bubble. Indeed, from an economics perspective it is fairly straightforward to create a linkage between the two, as the migration of seniors from the North to the South provided one of the underlying drivers for the rise in housing prices that fed the bubble and, of course, some chunk of those seniors will need long term care. There is an Op-Ed piece in today's NY Times which suggests that Florida, for one, will suffer such market vicissitudes for the indefinite future. Even as the stock market has rebounded so that the financial assets of many retirees are in reasonably good shape, the system doesn't seem well designed to protect the long term care provider's welfare.
There is thus the question whether the system should change to better do this or, if not, whether individual adult children should feel it part of their responsibility to somehow address the concern. If other adult children have witnessed the same high caliber long term care that Beverly provided, then they too might start inquiring about the issue. It's time to talk about it.
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